http://www.thebrushback.com/mockdraft07.htm 1 QB JaMarcus Russell LSU Jr. If you asked a scientist to build a prototypical quarterback of the future, he would come up with JaMarcus Russell. This guy eats Peyton Manning and shits Tom Brady. He once threw a pass 400 yards from on his back while wearing mittens. Still, I expect him to be a major disappointment. 2 OT Joe Thomas Wisconsin Sr. Jon Kitna threw a lot of interceptions last year as a result of bad protection. With Joe Thomas on board, expect him to throw them out of stupidity. 3 LB Lawrence Timmons Florida State Jr. The Ravens were planning to take this guy at 29, so the Browns will pull the rug out from under them by taking him here. Checkmate! 4 WR Calvin Johnson Georgia Tech Sr. It’s between Calvin Johnson and a long snapper. If they go with Calvin Johnson and lose the Super Bowl on a botched snap, it could go down as one of the biggest draft blunders in history. 5 G Justin Blalock Texas Sr. The Cardinals hired a nobody head coach, so they might as well draft a nobody as well. This guard will at least provide Edgerrin James with another huge target to barrel into before falling on his face. Click the link for the rest...
Some more good ones: 7 Minnesota S Michael Griffin Texas Sr. Last year in the first round, the Vikings selected Busty McBustington, Chad Greenway. This year expect them to be more cautious and pick up a safety, because only a retard could **** up the safety position. 14 WR Sidney Rice South Carolina Jr. The Panthers offense made a lot of plays last year, and almost all of them were bad. This guy should change all that, provided they replace all the other offensive players and opposing defenders don't wear helmets. 18 TE Greg Olsen Miami Sr. The Bengals continue to draft for defense, but their defense keeps getting worse. This year will bring an unexpected shift when they draft for offense and their defense gets worse. 23 WR Dwyane Bowe LSU Sr. The Chiefs should select any receiver in college football and immediately make him their go-to guy. Also, make him their wide receiver coach. 31 DE Adam Carriker Nebraska Sr. This guy may not be the top guy on the board, but he has certain qualities (he’s white) that would make him appealing (he’s white) on pretty much any team (white), including mine (I heart whites). :icon_rofl: :icon_rofl:
last year had some good ones too: 7 raiders QB Jay Cutler Vanderbilt SR They should take Jay Cutler here. I don’t care if he’s already been taken. He’s that good. 9 S Michael Huff Texas SR The Lions have a lot of holes that need to be filled here. Safety Michael Huff would be the safe choice. Actually the safe choice would be packing up the team, driving it to the east coast and dumping the whole thing in the Atlantic ocean. Then again, there’s a chance someone could still find it. 11 WR Maurice Stovall Notre Dame SR The ‘experts’ say the Rams will use this draft to shore up their defense, but consider this: the Rams are stupid. 13 C Nick Mangold Ohio State SR The Ravens would be wise to pick a smart, heady type of player here and try him out as head coach. 17 LB Ernie Sims FSU SR Brad Childress or whoever they have coaching this team didn’t like the fact the Daunte Culpepper wanted to get paid for his services. Shame on him! Except now he is getting paid, on a better team with a better coach in a city that has lots of boats to party on. Hope you enjoy that second round pick, Brad Linehan! 20 CB Ashton Youboty Ohio St JR The Chiefs need a defender who understands the concept of wrestling the ball carrier to the ground in order to prevent touchdowns. It’s an old technique but it’s been proven effective. 22 WR Sinorice Moss Miami SR The Broncos will probably take Sinorice Moss here, which means they’ll have a receiver named Sinorice Moss and one named Ashley Lelie. And one named Rod Smith. That’s not a receiving corp. That’s a threesome in a porn movie. 25 LB Chad Greenway Iowa SR After being edged 23-0 in their first playoff game last season, the Giants realized they were just one player away from winning the Super Bowl. Unfortunately that player is Joe Montana. 32 WR Chad Jackson Florida JR The Steelers may be looking to replace Antwaan Randle El here, but they’ll be hard pressed to find someone as overrated. Redskins, for $11.5 million up front, you get about 2 or 3 big plays a year and a whole lot of running around in circles. Amazing that such a cost-conscious team would make such a move. :icon_rofl:
