"So what if Mike Ditka called you a bed wetting mama's boy, it was great radio!! Pass the salt." Mike Golic tryinta console Mike Greenberg at breakfast.
"He's a narcissist to the nth degree. He's the bride in every weddding, he's the corpse at every funeral. The very greatest-if you don't believe me, give him a moment to catch his breath, he'll tell you!!" My Special Forces Buddy Kevin "Hognose" O'brien, describing another fraud, whiner, and sniveler.
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Anonymous Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. -Ann Landers If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. -Will Rogers There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -Ben Williams A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy Rooney We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. -M. Acklam Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -Rita Rudner A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -Robert Benchley Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -Franklin P. Jones If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. -James Thurber If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. -Unknown My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -Anne Tyler Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -Mark Twain You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' - Dave Barry Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. -Phil Pastoret
Shammie has a **** pot fulla dogs at his place...and abuncha cats, as well!!:icon_mrgreen: :lol: :yes:
"Parcells needs a good antacid!!" Stuart Scott on Sportscenter, describing Coach Bill Parcells' sideline demeanor during the Cowboys-Giants game.
"I think they should put a warning label on strawberries: 'Caution: tastes nothing like a strawberry milkshake'."
Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy the following: 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works. 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 5. Always drink upstream from the herd. 6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. 7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. 8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves. 9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. 11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. 12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut. ABOUT GROWING OLDER... First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
I'm not an atheist and I don't think I can call myself a pantheist. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many different languages. The child knows someone must have written those books. It does not know how. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn't know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God. We see a universe marvelously arranged and obeying certain laws, but only dimly understand these laws. Our limited minds cannot grasp the mysterious force that moves the constellations. Albert Einstein
Our time is distinguished by wonderful achievements in the fields of scientific understanding and the technical application of those insights. Who would not be cheered by this? But let us not forget that human knowledge and skills alone cannot lead humanity to a happy and dignified life. Humanity has every reason to place the proclaimers of high moral standards and values above the discoverers of objective truth. What humanity owes to personalities like Buddha, Moses, and Jesus ranks for me higher than all the achievements of the enquiring and constructive mind. Albert Einstein
I need find out who first said this.... but I sure like it "If you find yourself in Hell, keep going"
What is the meaning of human life, or of organic life altogether? To answer this question at all implies a religion. Is there any sense then, you ask, in putting it? I answer, the man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life. Albert Einstein
The bigotry of the nonbeliever is for me nearly as funny as the bigotry of the believer. Albert Einstein
Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts. Albert Einstein (attrib.)
You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein
It is better to be violent, if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of non-violence to cover impotence. Violence is any day preferable to impotence. There is hope for a violent man to become non-violent. There is no such hope for the impotent. Gandhi
The seven blunders that human society commits and cause all the violence: wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, knowledge without character, commerce without morality, science without humanity, worship without sacrifice, and politics without principles. Gandhi
Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realise that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events. Antiquated War Offices, weak, incompetent, or arrogant Commanders, untrustworthy allies, hostile neutrals, malignant Fortune, ugly surprises, awful miscalculations — all take their seats at the Council Board on the morrow of a declaration of war. Always remember, however sure you are that you could easily win, that there would not be a war if the other man did not think he also had a chance. Winston Churchill
I know men and I tell you that Jesus Christ is no mere man. Between Him and every other person in the world there is no possible term of comparison. Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I have founded empires. But on what did we rest the creation of our genius? Upon force. Jesus Christ founded His empire upon love; and at this hour millions of men would die for Him. Napoleon Bonaparte
