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Nonsense and Non Sequiturs

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Blue Bolt, Apr 19, 2011.

  1. jackfrost

    jackfrost Well-Known Member

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    Having all sorts of problems with my connection again this evening ...... :mad:

    Don't ya just love these company's "customer services" !!!

    Spent 20 minutes on the phone with Ali Simsalabim from Mumbai (I assume :rolleyes: ) and after going over everything too no avail, he aks me if there's a store close by !!!

    I say, ....."yeah sure, but seeing as its 8 pm at night Simmy ol'boy, they tend to close their doors for the day"

    To which he replys............"well, can you take your WiFi modem over there tomorrow and have them insert a new sim card .........sounds like that could be the problem"

    To which I reply ..............."well bud, seeing as I do have a job myself (unlike yourself) and are literally a 100% certainty to not be home by the time they close again, do you have any other suggestions ............preferably one that would offer me some help without me having to go out of my way, seeing as its your fargin' piece of :poop: equipment that is the problem here"

    I assume that was obviously a little to hard for him to comprehend, as after a few ummm's and ahhhh's, he replied.........

    "Well Thank You for your patience, would you mind answering a questionaire on how this call was of service to you"

    I nearly fargin' jumped through the phone at this stage and just basically sighed and hung up ..........

    Strangely enough, the connection has magically reappeared as you can now see ............:D

    Guess "Simmy" really did know his :poop: afterall ....... ;) :rolleyes:
     
  2. jackfrost

    jackfrost Well-Known Member

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    Oh Thank God for that ..........

    Seems that Granny has lost Jed's portable phone again and we may have been forced to go with smoke signals.

    So your saying she bites ?

    Ewwwwww, thats Hawt !!!
     
  3. Buck Melanoma

    Buck Melanoma Guest

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    Just a scrape. ;) It was a request.

    We have to climb to the top of the pole to answer the phone here.

    [​IMG]
     
  4. jackfrost

    jackfrost Well-Known Member

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    "Former SDSU quarterback signs with Chargers"

    http://bleacherreport.com/tb/d86sn?...um=newsletter&utm_campaign=san-diego-chargers

    Hmmmmm, let me guess, the kid lives across the road from the Murph and its only gonna cost the FO $4.50 in cab fares per day to get him to training ?

    Now isn't he the guy that created a little stir a year or so ago when talking about how dysfunctional the Jets clubhouse was when he was their 3rd stringer ?
     
  5. jackfrost

    jackfrost Well-Known Member

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    Well I should hope so, otherwise we'd have to asked you to hand in your Man card.

    Hey, I bet its peaceful up there at least .................. and beats the hell outta us others having to listen to your convo, as seems to be the norm these days with iceholes and their cellphones !!! :mad:
     
  6. jackfrost

    jackfrost Well-Known Member

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    I forgot to mention this earlier ...........

    But at first glance, I thought for a millisecond that she was "winking" at me..................

    I thought, "OH NOOOO, BLEW has finally lost the plot and shown a pic that's included the meat curtains !!! :eek:
     
  7. Buck Melanoma

    Buck Melanoma Guest

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    The reflection does give one cause for further inspection. ;)
     
  8. jackfrost

    jackfrost Well-Known Member

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    I've just taken my "3rd close look" .....................and indeed, that certainly does look like a single beef pattie with lettuce.

    p.s........not sure if its a sesame seed bun or plain though !!!!
     
  9. _Oz

    _Oz Banned Banned

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  10. boltcorpse

    boltcorpse back from the dead

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    Not incapable, sir... More like unmotivated ;)

    I agree with the meds part...
     
  11. boltcorpse

    boltcorpse back from the dead

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    I've been hiding at Dekk's Mom's house.

    Check your PM's for the heartfelt apology.

    How the phukk are you peeps?
     
    • Old Old x 1
  12. Pumpkin Bolt

    Pumpkin Bolt Zin me!

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    hey dead man how are you?

    At that the gym, then yard work, then I'll go play on the boat!


    Sent from my iPhone
     
  13. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    In honor of the MIA Ringo, I posted a pic of a former olympic ice dancer. ;)
     
  14. jackfrost

    jackfrost Well-Known Member

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    All I'm seeing is the dreaded ......... (drumroll please)

    RED X !!!!!! :eek:
     
  15. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    I see a blue box with a ?, but I'm on a Mac. ;)
     
  16. Pumpkin Bolt

    Pumpkin Bolt Zin me!

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    I get a white box and a red ? On my phone. I think Jackie is FOS ;)


    Sent from my iPhone
     
  17. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    Goes without saying. ;)
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  18. boltcorpse

    boltcorpse back from the dead

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    Doing well, sir... Thanks for asking.

    Taking the fam on a road trip departing next weekend... Gonna drive from Los Angeles up the coast on hwy 1... figure we'll make it as far North as Monterey.

    Taco said you live n Monterey... Got any suggestions on things to do and things to see in Monterey and along the coast on the way?

    Hope all is well with you folks.

    Btw, I'm on a 30-day ban from CMB for "starting inane threads" ;)
     
  19. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    Is there any another kind? :confused:
     
  20. boltcorpse

    boltcorpse back from the dead

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    Precisely ;)

    Where is Ringo? You mentioned he's M.I.A?
     
  21. boltcorpse

    boltcorpse back from the dead

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    Blewy your $5 sig is brilliant :D
     
  22. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    Don't know....... he's not been active lately. Wasn't affected by the fires though, so he's presumably still alive. ;)
     
  23. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    Our fearless leader doesn't get much respect around here....... I wonder why? ;)
     
  24. boltcorpse

    boltcorpse back from the dead

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    Dunno, but the resemblance to Lincoln is uncanny
     
  25. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    He might try the beard for a fun camp look. ;)
     
  26. Blitzy

    Blitzy Rainbow Bolt

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    I need a new avatar!

    Hello sweeties, I thought that I ought to uncloak before 801!
     
  27. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    What do you have in mind?
     
  28. Blitzy

    Blitzy Rainbow Bolt

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    How NOT to ask a woman out!

    Here's how to ask a woman out:

    Blitzy meets a Hot Babe (HB)

    Blitzy: Hey!

    HB: Hi

    Blitzy: I shouldn't talk to you!

    HB: Hmmmm, OK! Why?

    Blitzy: I don't think that we should hang out! Ever!

    HB: Oh, OK. Whatever!!!

    Blitzy: I shouldn't ask you for your number, coz I'd never call it once you give it to me!

    HB: Giggling, ah OK! I think that I get it now!

    Blitzy: (takes out his iPhone) I don't remember my own number, but don't you dare calling your own phone (shove over the phone to the HB)

    Very solid way of asking someone out using reverse psychology while avoiding getting dead or bad numbers. There is some crash and burn, but usually with no sense of humor putz types. Must (MUST) be said with a devlish grin and supreme confidence!

    Pass it onto Jack & Ringo, but don't overuse my material ;-)
     
  29. Blitzy

    Blitzy Rainbow Bolt

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    Something really gay?
     
  30. boltcorpse

    boltcorpse back from the dead

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    ....and they say there's no such thing as reverse mojo ;)

    Honestly I think that strategy comes across as too "contrived" and cheesy... Which may explain he high incidence of "crash and burn" you reference.

    The link at the top you posted actually had my strategy as the number one... Just say "hi" and improvise from there. You're a bright and witty guy, Flash... I bet if you try that instead of your cheesy rehearsed pickup lines you will have a higher rate of success ;)
     

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