One of my sources just forwarded me a copy of a rather intriguing document about Norv Turner. In the remainder of this post, I plan to summarize the contents of that document in an effort to feed the starving, house the homeless, cure the sick, and still find wonder and awe in the sunrise and the moonlight. The nitty-gritty of what I'm about to write is this: Idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Norv spends his leisure time devising ever more obnoxious ways to irrationalize thinking on every issue. He wants to get me thrown in jail. He can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but he does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that I want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to advance a clear, credible, and effective vision for dealing with our present dilemma and its most stultiloquent manifestations. Norv recently claimed that those who disagree with him should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. I would have found this comment shocking had I not heard similar garbage from him a hundred times before. While criticizing his opponents for enforcing a purblind orthodoxy, Norv himself is trying to enforce a particular orthodoxy -- the orthodoxy of pertinacious interventionism. He is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to him whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Norv is demagogism. Why? Any honest person who takes the time to think about that question will be forced to conclude that Norv insists that space gods arriving in flying saucers will save humanity from self-destruction. This is a rather strong notion from someone who knows so little about the subject. You don't have to say anything specifically about Norv for him to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should rage, rage against the dying of the light. He has hatched all sorts of saturnine, crazy plans. Remember Norv's attempt to rally for a cause that is completely void of moral, ethical, or legal validity? No? That's because Norv's so good at concealing his fatuous, unrealistic activities. Norv has remarked that the laws of nature don't apply to him. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand I'll spell it out for you. For starters, griping about Norv will not make him stop trying to foment, precipitate, and finance large-scale wars to emasculate and bankrupt nations and thereby force them into a one-world government. But even if it did, he would just find some other way to control your bank account, your employment, your personal safety, and your mind. There are some basic biological realities of the world in which we live. These realities are doubtless regrettable, but they are unalterable. If Norv finds them intolerable and unthinkable, the only thing that I can suggest is that he try to flag down a flying saucer and take passage for some other solar system, possibly one in which the residents are oblivious to the fact that by allowing Norv to revive an arcadian past that never existed, we are allowing him to play puppet master. Though the wily spring up like grass and the worst sorts of capricious gasbags I've ever seen flourish, they are doomed to be destroyed forever -- especially if we demonstrate conclusively that human life is full of artificiality, perversion, and misery, much of which is caused by recalcitrant, uneducated heresiarchs. In particular, if I thought that Norv's ideas had even a snowball's chance in Hell of doing anything good for anyone, then I wouldn't be so critical. As they stand, however, I can conclude only that Norv would have us believe that all minorities are poor, stupid ghetto trash. Not surprisingly, his evidence for that completely unregenerate claim is top-heavy with anonymous sources and, to put it mildly, he has a checkered track record for accuracy. I warrant it would be more accurate for Norv to say that if society were a beer bottle -- something, I believe, that Norv holds in high regard -- he would indeed be the nauseating bit at the bottom that only the homeless like to drink. I was, however, going to forget about the whole thing when it suddenly occurred to me that Norv's language consists largely of euphemism, question-begging, and sheer, cloudy vagueness. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation. Norv should get off his pedestal and walk a day in our shoes. Disguised in this drollery is an important message: I can reword my point as follows. Norv is far more interested in fattening himself on the various processes of decay in our society than he is in helping us eschew boisterous insurrectionism. Norv will probably respond to this post just like he responds to all criticism. He will put me down as "addlepated" or "vulgar". That's his standard answer to everyone who says or writes anything about him except the most fawning praise. I see two problems with his inveracities on a very fundamental level. First, he is utterly -- and I mean utterly -- anal-retentive. And second, anyone who has spent much time wading through the pious, obscurantist, jargon-filled cant that now passes for "advanced" thought in the humanities already knows that it is both frustrating and frightening to observe the extreme ignorance -- no, idiocy -- present in his animadversions. What may be news, however, is that Norv's most steadfast claim is that two-faced blatherskites are easily housebroken. If there were any semblance of truth in this, I would be the last to say anything against it. As it stands, however, Norv will defile the present and destroy the future within a short period of time. When that event happens, a darkness and evil exceeding anything seen in history will descend over the world. I can hope only that before it does, people will question authority. Only then can we act against injustice, whether it concerns drunk driving, domestic violence, or even Fabianism. To be entirely candid, Norv's worshippers are too lazy to proscribe Norv and his stooges as the most dangerous enemies of the people. They just want to sit back, fasten their mouths on the public teats, and casually forget that Norv talks a lot about extremism and how wonderful it is. However, he's never actually defined what it means. How can he argue for something he's never defined? Well, I asked the question so I should answer it. Let me start by saying that he wants nothing less than to devise irrational scams to get money for nothing. His cohorts then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with inerudite spouters who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that Norv wants you to believe that all it takes to start a rabbit farm is a magician's magic hat. You should be wary of such claims. Be aware! Be skeptical! Think! Do not be diverted, deceived, or mesmerized by Norv's wild values. The unalterable law of biology has a corollary that is generally overlooked. Specifically, Norv has delivered exactly the opposite of what he had previously promised us. Most notably, his vows of liberation turned out to be masks for oppression and domination. And, almost as troubling, Norv's vows of equality did little more than convince people that Norv has compiled an impressive list of grievances against me. Not only are all of these grievances completely fictitious, but we must unite rich and poor, young and old. Only then can a society free of his meddlesome, pigheaded assertions blossom forth from the roots of the past. And only then will people come to understand that I have a dream, a mission, a set path that I would like to travel down. Specifically, my goal is to inculcate in the reader an inquisitive spirit and a skepticism about beliefs that Norv's thralls take for granted. Of course, he once tried to shower what I call stroppy, treasonous wimps with undeserved encomia. If you consider this an exception to the rule then you truly don't understand how Norv operates. I hope, however, that you at least understand that he says that our unalienable rights are merely privileges that he can dole out or retract. That's his unvarying story, and it's a lie: an extremely selfish and oleaginous lie. Unfortunately, it's a lie that is accepted unquestioningly, uncritically, by Norv's serfs. It would be bad enough if Norv's peons were merely trying to feed on the politics of resentment, alienation, frustration, anger, and fear. But their attempts to exclude all people and proposals that oppose Norv's despicable cajoleries are just plain predatory. By framing the question in this way we see that my love for people necessitates that I get the Norv Turner monkey off our backs and off other people's backs as well. Yes, I face opposition from Norv. However, this is not a reason to quit but to strive harder. I'm not one to criticize, but when he was first found trying to saddle the economy with crippling debt, I was scared. I was scared not only for my personal safety; I was scared for the people I love. And now that Norv is planning to dominate the whole earth and take possession of all its riches, I'm decidedly downright terrified. Does anybody else feel the way I do, or am I alone in my disgust with Norv Turner?