Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Thumper, Oct 21, 2007.
Have you repped your Concudan today?
LOL.. yep i have. :yes::icon_tease::icon_toast:
Hey there, sorry I've been so hard to get a hold of. I haven't been getting on the board as frequently as usual. I got your texts though, and I will be at the meeting place at 9 am. I'm ready for this.
LONE RANGER AND TONTO
Too much pondering might mean you freeze butt!
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
"Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of Stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions
of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three
in the Morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
Meteorologic ally, It seems we will have a beautiful day
What's it tell you, Tonto?"
"You dumber than buffalo ****....
It means someone stole the tent!
Put in my time for having my birthday, Christmas,and NY off this year... I've taken off from 12/19 through 1/4. Might have to make this a tradition.
When is my Concudan going to rep me????? :glare:
Repped out and I didn't even get everyone I wanted to.
My 10 year old schnauzer (Snickers) died yesterday... She was living up in Northern Idaho with my ex. I'm sad, but not devastated or anything... cause she had a very good life. :yes: Her nephew (Pepper) lives with my parents here in SLC and is 7.5. He seems to be the only one left in the line.
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
'He's a funeral director,' she answered. 'Interesting,' the newsman thought.. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'
OH BOY! :lol:
On that note I need to get to lunch..
Howdy Hoes! T-Minus 2 days and counting till the Bolts dismantle the Titans.:yes: :icon_toast:
Off to Old Town then to the movies. Au revoir!
:icon_banana:GO SPURS! BEAT THE KNICKS!:icon_banana:
I swear I read that three times and only now realized it said "Concudan" and not "Canadian". :icon_rofl:
Don't forget the pup pups when you're makin' cookies for the family.
3 jars baby food (chicken, carrots or beef)
1/4 cup cream of wheat (or wheat germ)
1/4 cup dry milk
Combine ingredients in bowl and mix well. Roll into small balls and place on well-greased cookie sheet. Flatten slightly with a fork. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 15 min. until brown.
Cool on wire racks and STORE IN REFRIGERATOR. Also freezes well.
An Indian walks out of the woods and into the local trading post. He walks up to the counter and says to the storekeeper, "Indian need toilet paper."
The storekeeper looks at him and asks "Well, would you like the name brand paper or generic?"
The Indian asks "What generic?"
"That's toilet paper without a name", replies the storekeeper.
"Toilet paper not need name. Indian take 2 rolls.", says the Indian.
The storekeeper gives the Indian his toilet paper and the Indian strides off back into the woods.
The next day the Indian returns to the trading post, walks up to the storekeeper, and announces "Indian name toilet paper."
The storekeeper chuckles, then says "Oh, yeah? And what did you name it?"
"Indian name toilet paper John Wayne", he replies.
"John Wayne!!" exclaims the storekeeper. "Now why would you give it that name?"
The Indian replied, "Toilet paper rough, toilet paper tough, toilet paper not take no **** off Indian." :icon_eek:
So far so good for the 1st day of the diet... Time to go have my second shake of the day... Having shakes/vitamins for breakfast and dinner... Ate a "sensible" lol lunch...
Have a taste for a Margarita right now... BUT... I'm trying to really limit my alcohol intake on this diet. That might be hard!... :icon_tease:
Oh man, when I was your age (about 100 years ago) I never worried one bit about my weight. :hilarious:
Also I'm really not much of a jogger these days.... I do use my neighbors treadmill three times a week and that's about it.
A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking
Dog for Sale"
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I
told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services...the United States Marines. You know one of their nicknames is
"The Devil Dogs."
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.
I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's such a bullshitter . He never did any of that ****. He was in the Navy!"
Everyone be sure to check out this months Bugle.
Has some Hoes, fanatics, and good stuff... Might even learn something about someone you admire.
Oh, hell no.:beat::trout:
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living. "Mary, what does your parents do?"
Lil' Mary replied "My dad is a lawyer and my mummy is a nurse."
"That's very nice," said the teacher," Robert, what do your parents do?"
Robert proudly exclaimed ,"My dad is a policeman and my mom is a teacher!"
"That's very nice," said the teacher ,"Johnny, what do your parents do?"
He stood up and pronounced, "My dad's dead and my mom's a whore." Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. 15 minutes later, he returned.
"Did you tell the principal what you said in class?" asked the teacher. Johnny replied, "Yes, he said that in our economy every job is important, gave me an apple and asked for my phone number."
Mummy takes little Johnny to the zoo. As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection. "What's that, Mummy?" asks the child. "Nothing, Johnny, nothing," says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on. A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens. "What's that, Daddy?" the child asks. "That, son, is the elephant's penis." replied his father. "Mummy said it was nothing," the child then said. "Your mother's spoilt, Son."
All Repped Out!!
Separate names with a comma.