Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Thumper, Oct 21, 2007.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all of the sweet BTers.
Yes... happy VD everybody. :lol:
The correct term is STD IAD. :lol:
Things not to say on your Valentine's date...
1. Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?
2. I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
3. No wine for me tonight. My doctor says it's not good to mix alcohol and penicillin.
4. I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.
5. People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell.
6. I used to come here all the time with my ex.
7. I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.
8. Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
9. I like clay. It's mushy.
10. I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.
11. And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest.
12. I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask.
13. It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.
Happy Valentine's Day ta alla y'all Lovely Bolt Ladies!!
And you too, Chiefsgal :yes:
Carrie just sent to six of you lucky guys. :icon_mrgreen:
Chippie, hope you feel better soon.
All Repped Out!!
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this time?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and......"
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"
How to say 'I love you'
in 25 languages.....
I Love You
lch Liebe Dich
Ai Shite Imasu
Phom rak khun
Wo Ai Ni
parts of Florida
Nice *** , Get in the truck . . .
I rear-ended a car this morning.
Right then I knew this was going to be a really, really bad day.
When the other driver got out of his car, I saw that he was a dwarf.
He looked up at me and said, "I am not happy!"
So I said, "Well, which one are you?"
That's when the fight started.
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."
The little white guy man faints and falls to the floor.
The Big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.
The big guy Says, "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"
The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 Pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."
The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around!!!'"
9 WORDS WOMEN USE
Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" ... that will bring on a "whatever").
Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F**K YOU!
Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?"
For the woman's response refer to # 3.
Alright, so I'm on this message board for the show "Lost" and the speculation that goes on here is like clinically insane. I swear to God this was a serious statement from a regular, active and respected poster.
(on whether two electronic devices, displayed side to side, were clocks or timers)
I use "Fine" and "Five Minutes" quite often. :lol:
You guys, I just got up the nerve to call that pilot I met last weekend. We had a nice talk. He's going to Europe again tomorrow. Sure hope he calls me when he returns. If not, oh well, no biggie.
I have to go to a neighbor's party tonight. Don't really feel up to it but she called me a while ago to make sure I didn't forget and was still planning to come. :icon_shrug: Maybe I can sneak away early...
three posts in a row.
Makin' dinner... Used some meat rub on chicken and I'm fryin' it up right now... Add a veggie and I'm done.... Too long of a day to think of doing much else.
Wish I had some booze in the house. Could use a good shot before this party. :icon_toast:
The puppy is so cute...what did you end up naming him?
Drop in on the party Sometimes when I don't feel up to going somewhere, I go "because of obligation" and end up having a nice time. You can always sneak away early with "I have a new puppy" as an excuse...
hey Kim and Carrie:wave:
Yes, yes... that excuse had crossed my mind. Thank Gawd I don't have to drive. It's right next door
Puppy's name is Teddy. :yes:
Next door...you have to go lol...
"Teddy" is cute because he is fuzzy and cuddly looking like a Teddy Bear. :icon_wink: He looks so tiny. Allie's crazy chihuahua Maddie was about as big as a stick of butter when we got her and I was terrified we were going to step on her or something...:icon_eek:
Hay there, kiddo...
Hey Chris! Hope you are well! No school (for Allie) today! God Bless America! :flag: Sleeping in!
Separate names with a comma.