Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Carrie1219, Feb 17, 2009.
I can't rep anybody.
Not yet - Heidi doesn't care WHO is in the Superbowl as long as she gets to see all of the commercials. :lol:
I have been patiently avoiding all of the hype this week and just waiting for the game itself - in other words *survival mode*...
Edited: ROTFL - Just scrolled past some of the more recent posts and there was the video. That is how I felt when I retired from the Navy - and hell that was in 1987.... (BTW, I was older then than Favre is now too! )...
Craig Ferguson on being a Chargers fan:
Being a Chargers fan this time of year is kinda like being Vin Diesel at oscar time.
WTF has happened to Bolt Bunker?
I cant get in with my username and password.
The site went down, appearrently they lost everything???
Somebody wake me up in 17 days for the NFL Combine OK? :icon_shrug:
NO REP NO SMILE
Copper Wire Facts
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York Scientists
found traces of copper wire dating back more than 100 years and came
conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more
than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a
California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after,
a story in the LA Times read: "California archaeologists, finding 200
year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had
an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier
than the New Yorkers".
One week later. A local newspaper in West Virginia reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Keyser, West
Virginia, Bubba , a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found
absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago,
West Virginia had already gone wireless".
I ain't from there, but...
Just makes you proud to be a West Virginian.....
Some times it does...
Where's did in_a_days go...:icon_shrug:
Please un ban Carrie...
Will Toby and H8er ever come back...
These are things I want to know...
IAD: taking a hiatus.
Carrie: No. You can visit her at the UT I believe.
Toby: His choice
H8er: His choice
Now you know...
What's the story with Carrie? I missed it.
She conducted herself in a manner that made her being part of this community impossible.
rofl, I love philosophy.
Excerpt from my course book.
Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: ******, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, ****** slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife...
Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Killians.
Ronnie says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie?'
'******'s wife gave it to me,' Donnie replies.
'That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?'
'Well, not exactly', Donnie says. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be ******'s widow." She said, 'Yer mistaken. I'm not a widow.' Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Killians you are.'
(Rednecks are good at sensitive stuff).
"Community"? ****, and here I just thought we were Chargers fans.:icon_eek:
Yeah, this is real old - but it still makes me laugh!
GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...
Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.
A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.
She let out a very loud scream.
The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.
He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.
His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.
About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.
But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.
The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.
By now, the police had arrived.
They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!
The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.
Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).
Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.
A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.
And that's when he shot her.
What do you get when you put the girlfriends of a dozen Raider fans in one room?
A full set of teeth!
Two Navy Chiefs are getting ****-faced at the Club when suddenly one of 'em throws up all over himself.
"Damn, now my wife will kill me!"
The other chief says, "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you $20.00 dollars to have it dry-cleaned."
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually they stumble out and go home and this Chief's wife starts to chew his *** out.
"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, the chief says, "Now way a mint, I can splain everthin. Ish snot wha jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thish damn Marine ga ssick on me. He had one too many and he juss koudin hold hizz liquor. He said hes was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!
His wife looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty bucks.'
Oh, yeah I almos' fergot, he shhhit in my pants, too.
This should get me some rep!
That is the worst thing I have ever heard in my life...
I almost went insane...
Obviously you have no taste in music.
Rep is dead....
So bye bye Miss Vbulletin Pie...
I rep all the time but not to many people give it to me... :icon_shrug: oh well... :icon_huh:
Listen to a little Я очень рад, ведь я, наконец, возвращаюсь домой and you'll feel much better.
That guy looks like a manikin... :lol:
Separate names with a comma.