Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Carrie1219, Feb 17, 2009.
Where did every body go... :icon_shrug:
An San Diego Charger fan is drinking in a New York bar, when he gets a call on his cell phone.
He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar, announcing his wife has just given birth to a typical San Diego Charger baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the San Diego fan just shrugs and replies, "That's about average back home, folks, like I said, my boy's a typical
San Diego Charger baby boy. Gonna be an San Diego Charger football player."
Congratulations showered him from all around, amid many exclamations of "WOW!" One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, dude returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, aren't you the father of that typical San Diego Charger baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So, how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, concerned and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!"
The San Diego father takes a slow swig of his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,,,,,,
"Had him circumcised."
I am going to the Raider game November 1st .. do you guys tailgate any longer? :icon_eek:
My youngest was 10 lbs. 2 oz. I feel her pain.
Let's see, first pregnancy total baby weight 13 lbs. 2 oz. (she still has a ways to go to match me)! :icon_eek:
2nd total baby weight was 12 lbs. 14 oz.
I decreased weight with each pregnancy.
Glad she is doing well Carrie.
The girls are over 2 months now and doing well. I need to send you some updated pictures!
Me & Sweet Thang'll prolly be there!! :icon_toast:
Well you have to tell me where so we can hook up!
Does Sweet Thang drink? Just curious!
Prolly whereever the Monkey goes; and yes, she does.
Self-styled immature *******, actually.
And he did it with impunity.
Many BT members have been coming by the Bolt Bunker spot in M4 and it's been alot of fun - all are always welcome to join in :yes:
I hear it's clean on the other side of the parking lot from F-3, but I'll be there early Monday afternoon, so mebbe I'll go exploring.
so is this where everyone is going for the Bronco's game?
If so Toby Ill meet you here!
That little boy was found "hiding in a box in the attic" - i don't know if it was the attic of the garage or the house, but bet he and his brother have a difficult time setting down for a spell. Maybe not.
Some times this place gets a little crazy...
I just want the Chargers to win the SB...
Oh ya... and rep... :lol:
A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony in Oklahoma. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection. The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'did you call for me?'
The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'
She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she led him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.
Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him.
'Did you call for me?' asked the hairy man.
'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.
'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.
The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked. 'Here's my membership card.. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500.00 membership fee.’
But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'
'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart about 15 times a day. I'm outta here.'
I haven't gotten tickets yet ... who knows? I guess I should be working on that :icon_rofl:
I understand there'a quite a few still available :icon_eek:
The "Old Retired Sailor"
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired Sailor in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the retired Sailor and asks, "Can you top that?"
The tough old Retired Sailor replies,
"No problem, just get that lion out of there."
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