Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BFISA, Mar 17, 2008.
All Repped Out!!
My first thought today was "MNF".
Chargers vs Seahawks
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian ***** is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven ***** on the field.'
9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'
I was sure number 8 was the best...until I read number 9 :lol: that would be awesome to hear...
Those are PRICELESS!!!!!:icon_rofl::icon_rofl::icon_rofl: A soda-meets-computer-screen moment if there ever was one. Thanks, Dave!!!
:yes: :icon_rofl: :flag:
Hi hoes... Stopped by to rep... Will catch the rest of you tomorrow or the next day...
Thanks for the PM JL. :icon_toast:
AAAAAAAAAAAAnd the Pads beat the Snakes on a walk off 2 run HR!! :yes:
Go Pads!! :icon_toast:
Hey Sweet Thang!! :wave:
All reped out...
hey JL :wave:
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a tv cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill in before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die.
I apologize, I'm really ****ed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bull****! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my ****in' address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal *******s workin' there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for **** sakes. I just want to go and park my *** on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a **** whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another ****in' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?
Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuchin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some ******* to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (****in' morons). Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally ****ed off!
Signed - An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST CHINA!
You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who
ON THE GOLF COURSE
A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tees.
The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet. She goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet.
She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, 'I guess all those f***ing lessons I took over the winter didn't help.'
One of the men immediately responds, 'Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf lessons instead!'
He never even had a chance to duck!
(he gets out of the hospital tomorrow)
We have a gal on here, up Chicago way, that could take that rant up about 30 notches if they pissed HER off.
I miss Bolt Bot :icon_sad:
Where is he...
Hiding in your closet under your Apple II GS that has Pacman on it.
You don't want to know whats in my closet...
Toby might just like this one:
I've Been Everywhere (in Texas that is...)
Separate names with a comma.