The continuing saga of the RWAs-the beat goes on-

Road trip humor-

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.

As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, 'While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.'


This coming week is National Senior Health Care Week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

So please be kind to this ol curmudgeon. :flag:

There are places in Texas where there ain't nuthin but miles and miles of miles and miles :icon_eek:

Hello - and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital .

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep.
Please wait for the beep If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable
person to show you care.

(Well, my job is done .....Your turn)

Yeah Buddy :icon_eek:

An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up.. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

I'm Italian and I am a golfer,'says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.'

'Well,' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?'

'Who said my Dad's dead?'

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?'

'He's 100 years old,' says the old Italian golfer. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian and he's a golfer, too.'

'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?'

'Who said my grandpa's dead?'

Stunned, the doctor asks, 'You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?'

'He's 118 years old,' says the old Italian golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'

'No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?'

'Who said he wanted to?'


:icon_eek:


:lol:

Mornin y'all!!

:wave:

Hey, everybody! Been busy the last couple of days. My BIL who has ALS is fading fast, don't expect him to be with us much longer. It's taking quite a toll on my sister to take care of him. :icon_sad:

Padres Win 5-4 against the D-Backs

Trevor time again for the Save

Go Pads!!

All reped out...

All Repped Out!!

Mornin y'all!!

Afternoon Toby, (slept in today)

Hey Dave!! :wave:

meanwhile in kenya..
barrys 1/2 brother is sitting in front of a fire eating a snake

The Tiny Cabin

A tourist from the New York area was hiking through the mountains of North Georgia when he came up on the tiniest cabin he had ever seen in his life.

Intrigued, he went up and knocked on the door.
'Anybody home?' he asked.

'Yep,' came a kid's voice through the door.


'Is your father there?' asked the tourist.
'Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,' said the kid.


'Well, is your mother there?' persisted the tourist.
'Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,' said the kid.

'But,' protested the city slicker, 'are you never together as a family?'

'Sure, but not here,' said the kid through the door.
'This is the outhouse!

Niters y'all!!

For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers
so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2008:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R.
Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and ZestaCrackers join forces and
become:
Poly, Warner *******.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.

4.) ZippoManufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa .

5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.

6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!

And finally....

9.) Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
Titty Titty Bang Bang

OH, YOU KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO FORWARD THIS ONE!

All Repped Out!!

Moi?

This DNC convention thing is a friggin joke! Tired ole crap!:icon_evil:

Was up lil lady?

Hello Steph. I hope you are doing well.

:wave:

Mornin y'all!!

:wave:

Fitting that it should take place in Donkeyland.

How's Norma?

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?'

The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number?'

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said 'Norma Findlay, Room 302.'

The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold while I check with her nurse.' After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, 'Oh, I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal, and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday.'

The grandmother said, 'Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried!

God bless you for the good news.'

The operator replied, 'You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?'

The grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay in 302. No one tells me ****.'

Morning, folks! :icon_banana:

All repped out. :icon_sad: