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The continuing saga of the RWAs-the beat goes on-

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BFISA, Mar 17, 2008.

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  1. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... You need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop. As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you realize, you have been listening to your ipod......................
  2. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    O'tay 'Panky!! :icon_tease:
  3. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Well Done BFISA, etal! :flag:
  4. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party.

    The Indian Chief proclaims, 'So, you are the great Lone Ranger..
    In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days.

    Before I kill you, I grant you three requests.

    What is your first request?'

    The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse.' The Chief
    nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
    Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.

    Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his
    back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's
    tent and spends the night.

    The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.

    'You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two
    days.

    What is your second request?'

    The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to
    him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.

    As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.

    Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time
    with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde. She enters the
    Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

    The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. 'You are
    indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow..

    'What is your last request?'

    The Lone Ranger responds,

    'I'd like to speak to my horse,.... alone.'

    The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone
    Ranger's tent.

    Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks
    him square in the eye and says, 'Listen very carefully. for.... the....
    last....fuq'ing time, I said..... 'BRING POSSE'
  5. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Southern Baptist Lady


    The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every

    week. On one Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right

    behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was.

    While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, 'Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?'

    'Why yes, that would be nice,' the lady responded.

    Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck.

    On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina

    When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested, 'Would you like a cocktail before dinner?'

    'Oh, no,' said our circumspect fine example of southern womanhood, 'What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?'

    Well, our gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked, 'Would you like a smoke?'

    'Oh my goodness no,' said the woman. 'I couldn't face my Sunday School class if I did?'

    Well, our boy felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn. He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with, 'Ahhh .. mmmm how would you like to stop at this motel?'

    'Sure, that would be nice,' she said in anticipation.

    The gentleman couldn't believe his ears , and did a fast u-turn right then and there, and drove back to the motel and checked in.

    The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible sex and perversions imaginable, the gentleman awoke first. He looked at the lovely Southern Belle lying there in the bed and with remorse thought, 'What the hell have I done?

    He shook her awake and asked, 'I've got to ask you one thing, what ever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?'

    The lady said, 'The same thing I always tell them, 'You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time.'
  6. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Details; we want juicy details!! :yes:

    This qulaifies as "so what'.

    Meh
  7. Johnny Lightning
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    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Somebody thinks your special :tup:
  8. Johnny Lightning
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    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Thanks...

    God , Family , Chargers , Rep

    That is all...
  9. rexy2006
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    rexy2006 Well-Known Member

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    Just a ride-by hi!!!

    Hope y'all are doing well.

    You all behave yourselves!

    [​IMG]

    or I'll haveta rope ya and brand ya!!!
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  10. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    you'll have to catch me first








    and hi back at ya, how are things going for you?
  11. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    WalMart Greeter

    Charley, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time.

    Every day he was 5, 10 or sometimes 15 minutes late.

    But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to

    The company and obviously demonstrating their 'Older Person Friendly' policies.

    One day the boss was in a real quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, he called him

    Into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang

    up job, but your being late so often is quite bothersome."

    "Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it," Charley replied.

    "Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, your coming in late.

    I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there???"




    "They said, 'Good morning, General', coffee this morning, sir ??? ''
  12. rexy2006
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    rexy2006 Well-Known Member

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    Shall I give you a running start???:lol:

    Things are going well. Allergies are kicking my ***, but oh well.

    I gotta go. Got a sunset to see.:icon_mrgreen:

    Laters, Take care!!
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  13. eastcoastboltgal
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    eastcoastboltgal BoltTalker

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    Hey Rexy!! How are you doing?

    BB took me to Point Loma (?) once to see the sunset .. it was gorgeous. He took a gazillion pics that day.

    It's so damn cold here that I barely step a foot out of my house. I hate it!
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  14. Johnny Lightning
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    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Does it hurt... :innocent:
  15. Johnny Lightning
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    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Looks like I'm gonna have to put more sun tan lotion on... [​IMG]
  16. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    :wave:
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  17. eastcoastboltgal
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    eastcoastboltgal BoltTalker

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    That was just downright mean! :icon_evil: [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
  18. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Morning Hoes... :wave:

    Utah has been unusually warm this year. 30s and 40s in January! However, this has been one ugly weekend... Rain and more rain.

    I've hardly used the snow blower at all this season. I can deal with snow and rain... as long as it's not really cold.... I absolutely hate the really cold weather.... and I'm glad to say that Utah has had very little of that this year..... Not to say we haven't had our share of it in the past though.

    EDIT: Now that I've gone and said this.... we'll probably get hit with a blizzard this coming week... :eek:
    • Like Like x 1
  19. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    Mean?

    You don’t want anyone to get a sunburn in January do you, heck that will blow the whole year to hell and back
  20. eastcoastboltgal
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    eastcoastboltgal BoltTalker

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    JL said he needed suntan lotion while I sit here freezing ... [​IMG]
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  21. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    We have been praying for Rain this whole winter.

    We get a drizzle here and there, but all that does is move the dust around on your car.
  22. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    can you mail me some of that freezing stuff?
  23. eastcoastboltgal
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    eastcoastboltgal BoltTalker

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    You are kidding, right? :icon_eek:

    Who in their right mind wants to be cold? :icon_eek:
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  24. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Making a move at work that I've been wanting to make for about 5 years. I'll be spending half of my time with the high risk maternity patients. I've worked with maternity patients before and am excited about getting this coveted opportunity.

    Received some ACOG books in the mail that I have to have read by Wednesday. Looks like I won't be foruming it much for the next few days. Might just sneak back in for a little "Name that City" from time to time though..

    Have a good one.
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  25. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    Well I've tried crawling inside the freezer, but I cant shut the door
  26. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    good luck
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  27. Johnny Lightning
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    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    So true...
  28. Johnny Lightning
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    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    :innocent:


    I better turn over I want to get an even tan

    [​IMG]
  29. Johnny Lightning
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    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Don't work to hard :tup:
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  30. auctoritas
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    auctoritas BoltTalker

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    Good luck with your reading.
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