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The continuing saga of the RWAs-the beat goes on-

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BFISA, Mar 17, 2008.

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  1. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.)

    The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

    As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."

    "Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an axe and two .38s!"
  2. ChargerPessimist
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    ChargerPessimist New Member

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    so what are the odds that i get sued for downloading something with bittorrent?
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  3. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    I'll have to google bittorrent before I can answer you. :icon_shrug:

    Van, you need some rep power... I'll hit you up now... Keep posting and you'll be hoey in no time...
    I just read about bittorrent. Seems legal to me... but I'm definitely not the person in the know on this stuff. Ask ANT.. Just make sure he doesn't have a hammer with him... :icon_mrgreen:
  4. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    In the land of Sandra Dee​


    If you grew up in the 50s you can relate to this one...damned if I don't sometimes think that the world was a better place in some ways back then..


    The Land of Sandra Dee

    Long ago and far away,
    In a land that time forgot,
    Before the days of Dylan
    Or the dawn of Camelot.

    There lived a race of innocents,
    And they were you and me,
    Long ago and far away
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    Oh, there was truth and goodness
    In that land where we were born,
    Where navels were for oranges,
    And Peyton Place was porn.

    For Ike was in the White House,
    And Hoss was on TV,
    And God was in his heaven
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    We learned to gut a muffler,
    We washed our hair at dawn,
    We spread our crinolines to dry
    In circles on the lawn.

    And they could hear us coming
    All the way to Tennessee,
    All starched and sprayed and rumbling
    in the Land of Sandra Dee.

    We longed for love and romance,
    And waited for the prince,
    And Eddie Fisher married Liz,
    And no one's seen him since.

    We danced to "Little Darlin'",
    And Sang to "Stagger Lee"
    And cried for Buddy Holly
    In the Land of Sandra Lee.

    Only girls wore earrings then,
    And three was one to many,
    And only boys wore flat-top cuts,
    Except for Jean McKinney.

    And only in our wildest dreams
    Did we expect to see
    A boy named George with Lipstick
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    We fell for Frankie Avalon,
    Annette was oh, so nice,
    And when they made a movie,
    They never made it twice.

    We didn't have a Star Trek Five,
    Or Psycho Two and Three,
    Or Rockey-Rambo Twenty
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,
    And Chester had a limp,
    And Reagan was a Democrat
    Whose co-star was a chimp.

    We had a Mr. Wizard,
    But not a Mr. T,
    And Oprah couldn't talk yet
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    We had our share of heroes,
    We never thought they'd go,
    At least not Bobby Darin,
    Or Marilyn Monroe.

    For youth was still eternal,
    And life was yet to be,
    And Elvis was forever,
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    We'd never seen the rock band
    That was Grateful to be Dead,
    And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson,
    And Zeppelins weren't Led.

    And Beatles lived in gardens then,
    And Monkees in a tree,
    Madonna was a virgin
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    We'd never heard of microwaves,
    Or telephones in cars,
    And babies might be bottle-fed,
    But they weren't grown in jars.

    And pumping iron got wrinkles out,
    And "gay" meant fancy-free,
    And dorms were never coed
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    We hadn't seen enough of jets
    To talk about the lag,
    And microchips were what was left at
    The bottom of the bag.

    And Hardware was a box of nails,
    And bytes came from a flea,
    And rocket ships were fiction
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    Buicks came with portholes,
    And side show came with freaks,
    And bathing suits came big enough
    To cover both your cheeks.

    And Coke came just in bottles,
    And skirts came to the knee,
    And Castro came to power
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    We had no Crest with Fluoride,
    We had no Hill Street Blues,
    We all wore superstructure bras
    Designed by Howard Hughes.

    We had no patterned pantyhose
    Or Lipton herbal tea
    Or prime-time ads for condoms
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    There were no golden arches,
    No Perriers to chill,
    And fish were not called Wanda,
    And cats were not called Bill.

    And middle-aged was thirty-five
    And old was forty-three,
    And ancient were our parents
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.

    But all things have a season,
    Or so we've heard them say,
    And now instead of Maybelline
    We swear by Retin-A.

    And they send us invitations
    To join AARP,
    We've come a long way, baby,
    From the Land of Sandra Dee.

    So now we face a brave new world
    In slightly larger jeans,
    And wonder why they're using
    Smaller print in magazines.


    And we tell our children's children
    of the way it used to be,
    Long ago and far away
    In the Land of Sandra Dee.
  5. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

    D A M N I T O L
    Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

    ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
    Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

    E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
    Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

    P E P T O B I M B O
    Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

    D U M B E R O L
    When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.


    F L I P I T O R
    Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

    M E N I C I L L I N
    Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person . Can we get naked now?"

    B U Y A G R A
    Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

    J A C K A S S P I R I N
    Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

    A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T!
    A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators or on airplanes.

    N A G A M E T
    When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
  6. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.


    This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.
    The man seemed more amused.


    When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.



    The case came up in court.


    The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

    The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this:
    When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are Comin' and I grinned."



    "Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to smile.


    "Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself."



    "BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,


    'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'... I just
    lost it."



    "CASE DISMISSED!!"
  7. sdbound
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    sdbound New Member

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    For me it would have to be the size of a chess board.
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  8. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    :lol:

    Reminds me of those big 8x10 calculators.
  9. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

    This is how it manifests:

    I decide to water my garden.

    As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

    As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

    I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

    I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

    So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

    But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

    I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

    My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

    I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

    The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

    As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

    I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

    I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

    I set the glasses back down o n the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

    I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

    I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

    So, I set the remote back on the table,get some towels and wipe up the spill.

    Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

    At the end of the day:

    the car isn't washed
    the bills aren't paid
    there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
    the flowers don't have enough water,
    there is still only 1 check in my check book,
    I can't find the remote,
    I can't find my glasses,
    and I don't remember what I did with th e car keys.
    Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
    I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

    I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....

    Do me a favor.
    Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I've sent this to.

    Don't laugh – if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
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  10. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Please read the techie help thread... I have another lil problem... :icon_shrug::icon_huh::unsure:

    THANKS
  11. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Buck, h8ter, and BFISA

    "He" wrote back to me today... A nice long friendly email.... :flag: He definitely wants to know what my situation is right now, although he didn't come out and ask... :icon_mrgreen:
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  12. Johnny Lightning
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    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Where is everybody...



    [​IMG]
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  13. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    you are going to reply next week right?
  14. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    over there ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
  15. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    I was thinking, Saturday or Sunday morning.... :icon_shrug:
  16. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    Sunday
  17. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away in the wind.

    A gentleman approached her & said, "Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?"

    "Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat."

    "But madam, he said, "you must know that you're derriere is exposed!"

    The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!"
  18. Lightning's Girl
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    Lightning's Girl Mod Chick =) Staff Member Moderator

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    You been spying on me, haven't you?:icon_huh:
  19. eastcoastboltgal
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    eastcoastboltgal BoltTalker

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    Why? Why play games and not reply right away? I hate games. I just think it is crazy.

    I have a friend who just started dating this guy; she has to wait a few hours after a text before replying ... that is BS to me!
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  20. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    It's no game... I like to wait a bit anyway... and have been really busy... Going out tonight so I won't be able to really respond the way I like until at least tomorrow morning.

    This email is important enough to me to take some time in writing it and I won't have that kind of time until tomorrow morning.... so that's when it will be sent. :tup:
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  21. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Well have fun guys... I'm out of here for the night.... :abq2:
  22. sdbound
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    sdbound New Member

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    [​IMG]

    The Mexican Space Program
  23. rexy2006
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    rexy2006 Well-Known Member

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    Dooooooood, I googled the same thing and got this:

    Mexicana Aeronáutica y Spacia Administración

    [​IMG]

    That thang kin fly!
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  24. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Happens to me with some frequency :icon_eek: :icon_sad: :tdown:
  25. Carrie1219
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    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Well I emailed him and he wrote back an hour later. I'm glad that I waited to write to him because it gave me sometime to look at this realistically. I don't want to jump into anything and neither does he... from what I can tell. 6 years ago was a long time. I was skinny then too. :icon_eek:

    He did look me up on Reunion.Com... even though he says he didn't. :icon_mrgreen: I'm glad he did because it gives us a chance to "reunite" so to speak.
  26. Lightning's Girl
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    Lightning's Girl Mod Chick =) Staff Member Moderator

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    The hell of it is, I used to not be so damned distractible.........nowadays I sometimes find myself deep in conversation about some serious matter, and then veer off into uncharted territory for absolutely no good reason. To wit:

    Co-worker: "Isn't it awful what happened to Bethany? She went home from work the other night and found her door wide open, and all of her stuff had gotten stolen......."

    Me: "That IS terrible! That must've been really scary for her OH LOOK, A KITTY!!" :icon_eek:
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  27. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    I know!! :icon_eek: :icon_sad: :tdown:
  28. Lightning's Girl
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    Lightning's Girl Mod Chick =) Staff Member Moderator

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    Glad I'm not the only one who suffers from......what's it called?

    Oh yeah, age-activated attention deficit disorder!!

    At the rate I'm going, in a few years I'll be able to hide my own Easter eggs.
  29. BFISA
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    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    I've been doing that for quite awhile now...still haven't found the ones from 3 years ago :icon_eek: :icon_sad: :tdown:
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  30. SDRaiderH8er
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    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    IMO.....

    At the beginning of a relationship, do not rush into anything. If they want to talk on the phones for hours on end, that’s fine. But if you are starting out by just sending emails and stuff like that, take your time in your response, think the response out. Carrie said it’s an old flame; if he wants to get back with her, don’t rush back into it. We do not know why he just came back from out of the blue. SO IMO, make him wait just a day or 2, do not sound like she has waited all this time for his return.

    Now if things work out that’s great, and if they do, I was them both happiness. If they want to send text messages all day, hell type till they get blisters on the finger tips.
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