Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BFISA, Mar 17, 2008.
I'm here .... and leaving. Busy, busy .....
Working. I need to unload a couple of pieces of property. Yea I know, good luck.
Leaving to where?
Been setting here pondering on that - if some "government representative" showed up at my door with a tape measure, I have strong reason to believe the conversation would rapidly shift to something involving the 2nd amendment followed by "altitude", (bad, one each).
Hope everyone is having a good weekend.
Im gonna watch dudes hit little white balls with sticks in the morning. Its gonna be carazy.
I played the South Course back in the early 70's...have fun!!
All Repped Out!!
Two married ladies are having lunch. One leans over to the other and asks "do you and you husband have mutual orgasms?" The other woman replies, "no, I think we're with State Farm."
Just finished watching the Ice bowl on NFLN.
Why is the ending always the same? :icon_huh:
Jsut saw it, too funny.
Ah, ya gotta love Zappa. Unless you're Tipper Gore. :lol:
The definition of insanity is continuing to do the same thing and expecting different results. :icon_eek: :icon_rofl: :icon_tease:
What is the Zappa/Tipper story? :icon_shrug:
Tipper was big on censorship, particularly musical lyrics, & Frank led the charge to keep freedom of speech a reality. This is the short version, but let's just say that they weren't BFF. :lol:
Popcorn with cell phones
What are they doin to our noggins?
Like it could hurt yours ..... :lol: :icon_tease: :icon_rofl:
Andy Griffith's What It Was Was Football
A blonde goes into the cleaners & drops off a blouse to be dry cleaned.
As she's leaving, the man behind the counter says, 'Come again.'
The blonde stops and says, 'No, its mustard this time.'
That one is/was an absolute classic. Old Andy was great when he would "get his funny on".
Choose Your Weapon
Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.
It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost.
While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.
"Well, Dad," said Aaron, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice.
"Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my marriage. I love my fiancée, very much, but you see, I have very smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my future wife will be put off by them."
"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed." Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up her mom. "Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful." "Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the morning." "No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my new husband will not want to sleep in the same room with me."
Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed, and head for the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth. Not a word," her mother affirmed. Well, she thought it was certainly worth a try.
The loving couple were finally married in a beautiful ceremony. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later.
Shortly before dawn, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, woke his bride and without thinking, she immediately asks, "What on earth are you doing?"
"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've swallowed my sock!"
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons
Happy Father's Day ta alla y'all Wonderful Dads!!
Happy Dad's Day!!!!!!!!! :icon_toast:
...and me too? :icon_eek:
(Because I was gone all the time on sea duty, I make one heck of a lot better grandfather than I ever did a father - kids turned out great thanks to having a good mother!)
You're a squid, Davey?:icon_shrug:
Separate names with a comma.