'WTF is this Clown Talking About?'

Thread_Killer · Jul 3, 2007

Thumper said:

I better work harder at it then. :icon_tease:

Don't bother, no way are you jumping over me.

:icon_rofl:

turbo_turtle · Jul 3, 2007

Concudan said:

Australian Drop Bear; tourist eating killing machine, or Koala on PMS?
That is the topic for today’s episode of 'WTF is this Clown Talking About?'. I am your host Concudan, now let us meet our panel of experts:

He is a survivor of the great red rock drop bear riots of ‘02. He was fundamental in bringing drop bear information to the front page of the enquirer, and taking it from Austrailias ’dirty little secret’ to world travel advisory status. He debunks the idea that drop bears are merely pygmy sasquatch as Thumper contends, instead see them as an evolutionary jump in Australia’s marsupial population. His tireless work on the internet, and in various goth chat rooms has lead to his current reputation as the Drop Bear Drop Kicker. SDC.

He believes that the only good Drop Bear is a dead Drop Bear. He has made claims that the Drop Bear is really just a pygmy sasquatch who have been chased out of the Pacific North West by amateur big foot hunters. They only seek to live, and their food of choice is the brains of their prey. That is why this Bearologist believes that the Drop Bear could never be a true threat to humans, as the brain size of humans would never support creatures like this in great numbers. He also points out that the Drop Bear attacks are probably aboriginal garden gnomes who have been carrying on an uprising since the British turned Australia into a penal colony. Thumper

He believes that the drop bears protect their young and the fungus that grows in their arboreal nests. The fungus, which this person believes has a definite medicinal value to ‘mellow a man out real quick man…’ and should be research repeatedly, daily, and with purpose of getting mellow. He is a tireless researcher in the greater uses of drugs, and doest really believe in the drop bear, but anywhere he can get a possible high, is where you will find him. TrumpetMan

She is a Drop Bear rights activist who believes that the of tourist attacks are actually caused by the giant goanna, whom mistakes the tourists as oversized rock grubs. She goes on to say that the goanna is notoriously near sighted and cant tell a rock grub from a person. She believes that the Drop Bear is the Australian version of ‘the little pink elephant’ citing that elephants have never lived in Australia due to a mix up in their visa papers. Chispa.

He believes that the atrocities blamed on the Drop Bear are nothing more than the work of the friendly Koalas on the rag. He believes that the Australian mascot is disgruntles over recent commercials that do not include him. He feels that until local law enforcement starts to investigate the Koala gang of the greater Sydney area, the ‘Koas’, there will be no end to the atrocities heaped on tourists and blamed on the friendly, misunderstood Drop Bear. In_a-Days.

Commentary:
Latin name-throatis removes
Drop Bears are the more vicious, carnivorous relative of the Koala Bear (Phascolarctos cinereus), whom they very closely resemble. They are generally slightly larger than the average Koala, and some specimens have been reported to grow as large as the extinct Giant Koala (Phascolarctos stirtoni).

They differ from the average Koala in several aspects. Firstly, they have a more aggressive temperament. Secondly, their hindquarters are heavier, with the pelvis bone being extremely dense. And lastly, their primary diet is meat, supplemented by tree leaves.

These features have combined to lead to an interesting passive-aggressive hunting method. The Drop bear will wait in a suitable tree, looking like an ordinary Koala Bear. When a suitable animal passes beneath it, it will drop from the tree onto the head of the animal, momentarily stunning its prey with its rather dense posterior. The Drop bear will then endeavour to disable its prey, by grabbing on with its rear claws, and slashing out the eyes and throat with its front claws. If, as usually happens, the Drop bear stuns the animal from the fall but falls off immediately afterwards, it will quickly switch tactics and attempt to hamstring the animal's rear legs with its front claws.

Having stopped the animal from escaping (too quickly), the Drop bear will then attempt scoop out the animal's intestines, using its claws to hold onto the animal's midsection. The Dropbear is fairly fast over short distances (20m), but it is usually content to amble after the stricken animal until the animal collapses from its initial injuries.
This attack is usually successful, however sometimes the Drop bear's poor vision in daylight means that it misses the prey animal altogether, the sound of the Drop bear's impact with the ground startling the animal out of the Drop bear's visual range. Smell and Hearing, on the other hand, are very acute.

Whilst attacks by the Drop bear on Humans are rare, they are usually fatal owing to the nature of the initial attack, and the Drop bear's preference for single victims. Many bushwalkers have reported close encounters with Drop bears, usually along the lines of 'and the cute Koala fell right out of its tree; I was so frightened I ran away'. These bushwalkers rarely know how lucky they are to have survived.
It is recommended that Bushwalkers wear a sturdy hat, and put on sunscreen and/or Aeroguard. Drop bears do not appear to like the smell of most sunscreens or Aero guard, and a good hat (NOT tied around the neck) has been reported as being invaluable when the Dropbear lands and grips. Bushwalkers should be prepared to run away immediately after the sound of an impact, and to drop their pack as a decoy against the Drop bear chasing after them.

Lets open the floor for discussion.

Drop Bear? Want to know more? Click here:

Where is Crocodile Dundee When you need him?:icon_shrug:

He has the Knife that can skewer those Drop Bears and have them for dinner. :icon_twisted:

Concudan · Jul 3, 2007

turbo_turtle said:

Where is Crocodile Dundee When you need him?:icon_shrug:

He has the Knife that can skewer those Drop Bears and have them for dinner. :icon_twisted:

Sir Sewer gators were the topic yesterday.

turbo_turtle · Jul 3, 2007

Concudan said:

Sir Sewer gators were the topic yesterday.

In my post it does say Drop Bears and also an Australian to eliminate those buggers with his (thats a knife) knife.:icon_shrug:

I was putting 2 and 2 together to get what was the topic.

Where is my major malfunction?:icon_huh:

Concudan · Jul 3, 2007

turbo_turtle said:

In my post it does say Drop Bears and also an Australian to eliminate those buggers with his (thats a knife) knife.:icon_shrug:

I was putting 2 and 2 together to get what was the topic.

Where is my major malfunction?:icon_huh:

So you try and cloud the waters of this important topic with discussions of a ficticional character? Sir the Drop Bear threat is real to some.

turbo_turtle · Jul 3, 2007

Concudan said:

So you try and cloud the waters of this important topic with discussions of a ficticional character? Sir the Drop Bear threat is real to some.

Paul Hogan is a real person. I know that Crocodile Dundee is fictional.

I was trying to be a little funny that is all.

I hope that if the Drop Bear is for real that they take care of that menace because we do not want them here in the good ole U.S. of A. :icon_mrgreen:

Concudan · Jul 3, 2007

turbo_turtle said:

Paul Hogan is a real person. I know that Crocodile Dundee is fictional.

I was trying to be a little funny that is all.

I hope that if the Drop Bear is for real that they take care of that menace because we do not want them here in the good ole U.S. of A. :icon_mrgreen:

Paul Hogan is a red hering dear sir. The topic at hand is the drop bear menace. Do you not think it strange that the Australian government has kept such a threat to public safety quiet for so long?

sdchrger · Jul 3, 2007

Concudan said:

Paul Hogan is a red hering dear sir. The topic at hand is the drop bear menace. Do you not think it strange that the Australian government has kept such a threat to public safety quiet for so long?

:icon_wtf:

Concudan · Jul 3, 2007

sdchrger said:

:icon_wtf:

NO! you roll in this is as follows:

He is a survivor of the great red rock drop bear riots of ‘02. He was fundamental in bringing drop bear information to the front page of the enquirer, and taking it from Austrailias ’dirty little secret’ to world travel advisory status. He debunks the idea that drop bears are merely pygmy sasquatch as Thumper contends, instead see them as an evolutionary jump in Australia’s marsupial population. His tireless work on the internet, and in various goth chat rooms has lead to his current reputation as the Drop Bear Drop Kicker. SDC.

man...

turbo_turtle · Jul 3, 2007

Concudan said:

Paul Hogan is a red hering dear sir. The topic at hand is the drop bear menace. Do you not think it strange that the Australian government has kept such a threat to public safety quiet for so long?

I got it now.

Bad Australian Government.

I sure hope that the Australian Government does a lot to inspect all the exports going out of the country because we do not want any Drop Bears to get to any other country by stowing away in the containers of food stuffs.

We also do not want a plague of the things to come over from Australia and attack us here in the USA like a swarm of locust.

Concudan · Jul 3, 2007

turbo_turtle said:

I got it now.

Bad Australian Government.

I sure hope that the Australian Government does a lot to inspect all the exports going out of the country because we do not want any Drop Bears to get to any other country by stowing away in the containers of food stuffs.

We also do not want a plague of the things to come over from Australia and attack us here in the USA like a swarm of locust.

Word is out that Drop Bear sightings have already been made in Guam, there is indeed fear that the creatures get out of the country by hiding in the landing gear of airplanes.

turbo_turtle · Jul 3, 2007

Concudan said:

Word is out that Drop Bear sightings have already been made in Guam, there is indeed fear that the creatures get out of the country by hiding in the landing gear of airplanes.

Australia needs to have an embargo sactioned against them from Guam because of the plague they started. Poor Guam. Guam needs reparations from the Australian Government due to the menace they caused from the Drop Bears.

Bad Australia. Very Bad.

Concudan · Jul 3, 2007

turbo_turtle said:

Australia needs to have an embargo sactioned against them from Guam because of the plague they started. Poor Guam. Guam needs reparations from the Australian Government due to the menace they caused from the Drop Bears.

Bad Australia. Very Bad.

There is some evidence that the Drop Bear and the Chupacabra are in league to de-stabalize the greater pacific rim.

Concudan · Apr 19, 2010

I just want to say that I was not experimenting with illegal narcotics when making these posts...

AnteaterCharger · Apr 19, 2010

Concudan said:

I just want to say that I was not experimenting with illegal narcotics when making these posts...

You should be proud of your handiwork

in_a_days · Apr 19, 2010

Concudan said:

I just want to say that I was not experimenting with illegal narcotics when making these posts...

I, on the other hand...

Eat My Boltage · Apr 19, 2010

Yah this is a whole nuther level of WTF. I would say that based on the responses from people who haven't posted here in years that the toll population is on the rise.

BoltsFanUK · Apr 20, 2010

That is some funny funny ****

'WTF is this Clown Talking About?'

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