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A few observations...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 17Rocks, Jan 23, 2009.

  1. 17Rocks

    17Rocks Well-Known Member

    May 12, 2006
    1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
    2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
    3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
    4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
    5. There are three religious truths:
    a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
    b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
    c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.
    6. If people from Poland are called Poles, are people from Holland called Holes?
    7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*
    8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
    9 Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
    * ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
    10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
    11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
    *~*~*~*~*~ ~*~*~*~*
    12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would it be called Fed UP?
    13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
    14. What Hair Color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
    15. Do people read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older because they're cramming for their final exam?
    16. Most mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so do Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
    17. Do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office because we're supposed to write to them? ... Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
    18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are others here for?
    19. Did you really know how to cuss before you learned to drive?
    20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
    21. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
    22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
    23. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells... 'THEIRS'?
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