1. Welcome to San Diego Chargers NFL Football Podcast and Forum!

    Bolt Talk is one of the largest online communities for the San Diego Chargers. We host a regular Chargers podcast during the season. You are currently viewing our community forums as a guest user.

    Create an Account or

    Having an account grants you additional privileges, such as creating and participating in discussions. Furthermore, we hide most of the ads once you register as a member!
    Dismiss Notice

Bengals' incentive for season ticket holders

Discussion in 'Chargers Fan Forum' started by SDRaiderH8er, Dec 15, 2010.

  1. SDRaiderH8er

    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2006
    Messages:
    11,638
    Ratings:
    +2,074
    Cincinnati Bengals try to get season ticket holders with popcorn - Paul Daugherty - SI.com

    Dear Season Ticket Holder:

    The Cincinnati Bengals want you back.

    Actually, they wanted you back before now, before a promising season erupted like a Whoopee cushion, giving you every reason not to come back, ever. They wanted you back, back in August, just after they'd signed Terrell Owens to marry Chad Ochocinco in a civil ceremony aired live on Dancing With The Stars. Or maybe it was the T.Ocho Show. Whatever.

    To that end, the Bengals put together an incentive package so overwhelming we hesitate to publish it for fear the country's wireless network might collapse under the call-now strain. In August, before the Bengals were 2-11, losers of 10 straight and owners of a team-town relationship the envy of Bob Irsay and Baltimore, the Bengals offered their lapsed season ticket holders a voucher good for a million dollars, a new Cadillac and a month on Bora Bora.

    They did not.

    It was a voucher for a new vacuum cleaner, a multi-tool and a Tuesday night in Jersey City.

    Not even.

    How 'bout a box of popcorn?

    From a letter sent by the team, to former season ticket holders:

    "After another excellent draft class, the addition of Antonio Bryant, and arrival of Terrell Owens, the 2009 AFC North champions are looking to have an even better 2010 season, and we would love for you to join us again! For a limited time only, if you purchase new Season Tickets, you will receive a voucher for a free box of popcorn. ..''

    Imagine the insanity in the Queen City the day those letters arrived. Erstwhile Season Ticket Guy, slamming redial, hoping beyond hope to get his free box of popcorn. Sobbing silently when he finally gets through and is told all the vouchers are gone. Pondering the afterlife. Leaving a note:

    "All I wanted was my free box of popcorn.''

    Insiders tell me if the Bengals had upped the ante to a box of ******* Jack, the city would have declared martial law.

    Let's see if we understand: In August, the Bengals hadn't won a playoff game in 19 years. In that span, they'd had two winning seasons. The cheapest season seats went for $60 a game. That's $480 for the season. For that, popcorn.

    Last August, Forbes magazine judged the Bengals franchise to be worth $905 million. A decade ago, the team moved into a $600 million publicly financed stadium. It sold out 57 games in a row, which brands the fans as loyal or dull or both.

    Let them eat popcorn.

    Not unlimited popcorn.

    One box.

    For a limited time only.

    Not long after the letter went out and the club got laughed at again, it issued a pronouncement that it was merely hopping on the T.O. hypewagon, playing on Owens' slogan, "Get your popcorn ready.''

    Well, of course. The point was, with any other organization you could name, no explanation would be necessary. With the Bengals the explanation was not only instructive, but required.
     
  2. Savage Lizard

    Savage Lizard Charger fan at 7000'

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2007
    Messages:
    3,853
    Ratings:
    +984
    Holy cow! Did "cr*cker" get censored?
     
  3. Ride The Lightning

    Ride The Lightning Join the Dark Side, we have cookies.

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    10,930
    Ratings:
    +1,748
    ******* *** *******

    edit: LOL WUT Cra.cker, seriously
     
  4. RM24

    RM24 BoltTalker

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2007
    Messages:
    3,109
    Ratings:
    +264
    So THAT's why they signed T.O.!

    [​IMG]
     
  5. SDRaiderH8er

    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2006
    Messages:
    11,638
    Ratings:
    +2,074
    George Carlin could have a field day with this one
     
  6. Carlsbad_Bolt_Fan

    Carlsbad_Bolt_Fan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    6,983
    Ratings:
    +1,583
  7. Carlsbad_Bolt_Fan

    Carlsbad_Bolt_Fan Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    6,983
    Ratings:
    +1,583
    You left out the best part:

     

Share This Page