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Everything Chargers do turns to gold

Discussion in 'Chargers Fan Forum' started by ChargerRay, Feb 14, 2007.

  1. ChargerRay

    ChargerRay #FireMcCoy #FirePagano Staff Member Super Moderator Podcaster

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    http://www.pe.com/sports/football/stories/PE_Sports_Local_D_patton_14.2513e0c.html

    A nice positive view of things.

    Six years ago, the bumbling San Diego Chargers gave up the top pick in the NFL draft -- everyone's consensus choice was Michael Vick -- and dropped to fifth, where they took a chance on LaDainian Tomlinson, one of those dime-a-dozen running backs who get overrated every year.

    The dunderheads did get an undersized, junk-ball throwing quarterback, Drew Brees, in the second round.

    Three years ago, the morons went ahead and drafted Eli Manning with the No. 1 pick, even though Manning vowed he would never play in San Diego, presumably because the organization was so pathetic.

    Forced to trade him, the Chargers used their multiple picks that year and the next to acquire sidearm thrower Philip Rivers, place-kicker Nate Kaeding, veteran tackle Roman Oben and linebacker Shawne Merriman.

    Last winter, after Brees had developed into the perfect quarterback to lead the Chargers' surprisingly diverse offense, the boneheads allowed him to walk away as a free agent, gambling that untested third-year pro Rivers would be up to the task.

    Now the goofy Chargers have bungled the firing of Coach Marty Schottenheimer. Whether you are a fan of Schottenheimer for leading the team to an NFL-best 14-2 record, or think his postseason failures and the one-and-done loss to New England last month warranted a boot in the pants, you have to admit team president Dean Spanos and general manager A. J. Smith really blew it this time.

    A month after telling him he could stay, then watching the team's stable of talented assistants depart, and the best outside coaching candidates take jobs elsewhere, the dopey Chargers suddenly find themselves in mid-February searching in the weeds for a new head coach.

    I suspect this is the final piece of idiocy the franchise needs to get itself over the top. The last pratfall that will lead them to the promised land. Yes, the final misstep in a long line of highly criticized moves that will make the crazy Chargers a Super Bowl team.

    Me, I'm done calling them names.

    If the Chargers front office is out to lunch, well, maybe we ought to find out what they're eating and drinking, and order it up. Every time I think they've driven the bus off the bridge, out come the James Bond wings and away they go.

    The Chargers' plotters and schemers are either the craftiest crew of brilliant thinkers in the NFL, or the luckiest sons of guns to ever throw a dart at a draft chart.

    Either way, I'm on board. If I don't have anything nice to say about the geniuses in San Diego, I won't say anything at all. Mom would be so proud.

    If they bring in the great underachiever, Norv Turner, or backslider Dennis Green, to coach, I'll button my lip and marvel at the 15-1 season.

    If they go with a 27-year-old junior college assistant coach, I'll assume he's the next Tony Dungy.

    Heck, if they hire Denzel Washington because they liked the job he did with the Titans, it's OK by me.

    It's pretty obvious by now, the Chargers front office can do no wrong. Maybe the players and coaches can have their airhead moments at the worst time, say, in a postseason game against the Patriots. But the guys upstairs?

    They've been perfect for six years. Drink a toast to that, 1972 Miami Dolphins.

    Spanos cited the ongoing "dysfunctional" relationship between Smith and Schottenheimer as the reason he had to let the coach go, as if it were a bad thing.

    In the same way that dysfunction has fueled every money-making TV reality show, it seemed to work with the Chargers, too. But we can only assume the brass knows best.

    Its unblemished recent track record should also be great news for Chargers fans who live in fear that the team is moving just as soon as the last bobbled stadium deal falls through or gets voted down.

    It may look like the Chargers aren't really trying, or may be sabotaging efforts to keep their game in town, but looks, as we've learned, can be deceiving.

    I don't think they're going to Los Angeles, Anaheim or Las Vegas.

    I think they're going straight to the Super Bowl. It doesn't matter that there's barely anyone left on the staff that guided them to the best record in history, or that a new coach may tinker poorly with one of the NFL's most talented rosters.

    The important thing is the front office still has nearly a year to toss in a few more staggeringly deft gambits disguised as colossal gaffes.

    I can't wait to keep my mouth shut.
     
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  2. AnteaterCharger

    AnteaterCharger Calibrating Bolttalk, Podcast by Podcast Staff Member Super Moderator Podcaster

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    someone finally sees the light
     
  3. boltssbbound

    boltssbbound Well-Known Member

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    No matter how many times AJ makes the right move, people still doubt him. The Eli thing, the Brees departure and now Marty. Everyone always thinks they know better than AJ, but somehow he comes out smelling like a rose every time.
     
  4. cranberry

    cranberry BoltTalker

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    Yeah let's all see it the positive way - what's wrong with that ?
    Nothing - a real boltsfan always waits for the best to come !!
     
  5. cranberry

    cranberry BoltTalker

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    Yuahiee! That's it. God smells like a rose.

    :abq2: :abq1: :abq2: :helm1:
     
  6. AnteaterCharger

    AnteaterCharger Calibrating Bolttalk, Podcast by Podcast Staff Member Super Moderator Podcaster

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    Are you sure? I don't think God has a scent
     
  7. exodus

    exodus Well-Known Member

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    AJ Smith smells like Old Spice. I could see him sitting around with Bruce Campbell talking about having it. Hellz yes. Bruce Campbell for HC!
     
  8. boltssbbound

    boltssbbound Well-Known Member

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    My guess would be AJ smells like expensive scotch and giant balls.
     
  9. AnteaterCharger

    AnteaterCharger Calibrating Bolttalk, Podcast by Podcast Staff Member Super Moderator Podcaster

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    1. How do you know what giant balls smell like?
    2. Why would I want to know #1?
     
  10. boltssbbound

    boltssbbound Well-Known Member

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    I didn't say I knew what giant balls smelled like. I simply said that giant balls and AJ smell the same.:icon_shrug:
     
  11. Shamrock

    Shamrock Well-Known Member

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    Someone in the press "gets it" .....
     
  12. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    Nice read! Thanks Ray!
     
  13. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    :beat: :trout: :conc: :trout: :beat:
     

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