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Fans win if Norv loses.... who's moonlighting at the U-T?

Discussion in 'Chargers Fan Forum' started by Blue Bolt, Sep 4, 2012.

  1. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    With Norv Turner, fans win if Chargers lose

    Your children's names are LaDainian, Antonio, and Bolt.

    In January of 1995, your car was stolen and your wife cheated with your boss, but you still consider it the greatest month of your life.

    You once asked a Toyota salesman if the Camry is available in powder blue and gold. You own a customized jersey for rookie offensive lineman David Molk. You are the universe's biggest Chargers fan, and after watching their season end in Week 17 the past two years, you are screaming to anyone within earshot "Playoffs or bust!"

    But here's the buzzkill, big guy -- with Norv Turner as your head coach, you should be hoping for bust.

    For San Diego, making the postseason would only lead to a postponement. The Chargers playing in January would just mean that Turner would be back in August.

    At some point, this team has to lose the man that can't quite figure out winning. But a trip to the playoffs would likely stall that much-needed shakeup.

    Did you know that Turner has coached the most games of anyone in NFL history with a losing record? His 107 wins, 113 losses and one tie in the regular season are the ultimate ode to mediocrity.

    "Hey, how'd you do on your mid-term, dude?"

    "C+. I totally Norv'd it."

    Did you know that of the 28 coaches to have won a Super Bowl, none has a career losing record? The closest is former Jets coach Weeb Ewbank, who owns a mark of 130-129-7. Do you really think Turner is going to make history when his team from last year couldn't outclass Tebow's?

    Football isn't like baseball or basketball, where a coach or manager can sit in his limousine hot tub and let talent drive him to a title. We can't say for certain whether Phil Jackson and Joe Torre were geniuses or simply beneficiaries of Herculean rosters.

    But with all the schemes, formations and players on the field, a successful football coach almost has to be a virtuoso. It's why Bill Belichick can go 11-5 with Matt Cassel at quarterback, and why the Patriots keep returning to the Super Bowl despite the incessant turnover of Pro Bowlers. This hasn't happened with Turner, who peaked with a 13-3 season in 2009 and has been tumbling down the mountain since.

    Bless his heart, though.

    Turner has chaired charity events for Multiple Sclerosis, developed relationships with players so tight that quarterback Philip Rivers pleaded to Chargers president Dean Spanos that he bring him back this season, and has never authored the kind of a post-game tirade that winds up on a Coors Light commercial.

    Bless his brain, too.

    In his first season as the Cowboys' offensive coordinator, Turner transformed an offense that ranked 26th in points, 28th in yards, and 25th in first downs the year before, to one that ranked seventh, ninth, and eighth, respectively. The man sees linebackers the way Bobby Fischer saw bishops. Norv is just a lot more gracious in victory.

    And while we're at is, bless his soul.

    Turner had his dad walk out on him when he was 2, lost his mother to MS, had an older brother who died in his sleep, and now has a sister with MS. But by all accounts, Norv has the disposition of a three-time lotto winner whose frown muscles are on strike.

    Unfortunately, there is little correlation between grinning and winning. And while injuries, crunch-time turnovers and questionable personnel moves all factor into the Chargers' recent shortcomings, you can't overlook the resume of a man who has coached in 231 games but never The Big Game.

    So if you're a true Bolts devotee, you should be praying for a seldom-updated win column. If there's a scrum following a fumble, you should instinctually point in the other team's direction.

    Norv isn't going to lead this group to its first Super Bowl, so why prolong it all another year? It's like when NASCAR driver Greg Biffle was asked if he was disappointed that he missed the Chase a few years back, and he basically replied "well, it's not like we were going to win the thing anyway."

    Look, it's karmically unjust that gruffs like Gregg Popovich and Nick Saban can rack up multiple championships while Turner's vacation always starts sooner than desired. He's the nice guy you really do want to see finish first.

    So root for Norv to find happiness. Root for him to find his groove. Root for him to find success in a way that keeps him one of pro sports' friendliest figures.

    Just not this year.

    matt.calkins@utsandiego.com (619) 293-1368
     
  2. Buck Melanoma

    Buck Melanoma Guest

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    I'm betting it's IMissMarty.
     
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  3. AnteaterCharger

    AnteaterCharger Calibrating Bolttalk, Podcast by Podcast Staff Member Super Moderator Podcaster

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    Does anyone know if B4L/Alan is now writing for the UT?
     
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    • Winner Winner x 2
  4. Buck Melanoma

    Buck Melanoma Guest

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    I think he's on the road marketing Ron Paul. ;)
     
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  5. Ikeman83

    Ikeman83 Werter Pöbel

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    Like I said in the other thread, win the Superbowl or finish dead last. Finishing 8-8 is a roster killer.
     
  6. Lance19

    Lance19 BoltTalker

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    Why a young, Oregon basketball writer would be hired by the UT
    to pull stuff out of his butt about the Chargers is beyond me.

    Suggesting that what Norv did in 1994 with a terrible Redskins team
    is somehow more relevant than his current 49-31 record with THIS team,
    is the kind of amateurish flailing we expect from Bleacher Report (and similar "fan fiction)
     
  7. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    We're you under the mistaken impression that the U-T is still a legitimate regional newspaper? :laugh:
     
  8. Pointyearedog

    Pointyearedog I only put idiots on ignore...

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    Did someone plagiarize a Kurt Vonnegut or Jules Verne novel here?
     
  9. IMissMarty

    IMissMarty BoltTalker

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    Suggesting that Norv's 49-31 record with THIS team, which was already built for him and was already winning before he came here, is somehow more relevant than his 59-82 record with teams that he would have had to possess actual head coaching ability to turn around and rebuild, is the kind of amateurish flailing we expect from Bleacher Report (or just dumb Norv apologists.)
     
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  10. HollywoodLeo

    HollywoodLeo Well-Known Member

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    Fans win when their team loses?

    If you say so.
     
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  11. HollywoodLeo

    HollywoodLeo Well-Known Member

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    So, how come he gets no credit for wins with this team on the grounds that he didn't acquire the talent but he gets all blame for losses on other teams even though he didn't acquire the talent on those teams either?
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  12. BoltWalt

    BoltWalt Well-Known Member

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    The buck should start and stop with AJ Smith, he is responsible for this team. It is way beyond Norvs' fault.
     
  13. HEXEDBOLT

    HEXEDBOLT Don't like it, lump it!!!

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    Since Turner left the Redskins in 2000, Shittyheimer, Gibbs and now Shannarat and still no winning records, I reckon Norv just messed that team up and good. Just look north to the Raiduds and give us their collective record since Turner left. You won't because you'll be even more exposed as a fraud with your panties pulled down.
     
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  14. pure-sol

    pure-sol Well-Known Member

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    Any article that claims that a fan wins if their team loses doesn't understand the meaning of the term "fan", and immediately discarded as drivel.
     
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  15. Ikeman83

    Ikeman83 Werter Pöbel

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    I suppose you don't think that Colts' fans "won" when they stumbled into Andrew Luck by losing out all season last year?
     
  16. Carlsbad_Bolt_Fan

    Carlsbad_Bolt_Fan Well-Known Member

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    Nope. I dare you to go to a Colts forum, create a thread telling them that they actually "won".
     
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  17. IMissMarty

    IMissMarty BoltTalker

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    Are you some kind of stubborn knucklehead that you refuse to see Ike's point? Yes, definitely go onto a Colts message board and tell them they won by losing last year. They'll agree with you! Have you not noticed how stoked Colts fans are to have Andrew Luck now?

    I swear, some of you guys on here are so insecure with yourselves that you'll make any dumb argument necessary just to avoid conceding a point to your opponent in a discussion. Sad.
     
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
  18. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    Wow! I am in total agreement with you on the bolded statement. Only it is you that I am thinking of who fits the statement...
     
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  19. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    How many ral games has luck played so far? How many times has he taken his team to the playoffs? Why not leg eggs be eggs until they are chickens. Besides, by your logic, he is a waste of a pick until he starts a game...
     
  20. HEXEDBOLT

    HEXEDBOLT Don't like it, lump it!!!

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    I'll take grits and country ham with my eggs, thank you.
     
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  21. Brundlefly

    Brundlefly Well-Known Member

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    That has yet to be determined
     
  22. IMissMarty

    IMissMarty BoltTalker

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    This is the kind of stubbornness I'm referring to with you Norv apologists. You simply CAN'T concede a thought to someone else, so you have to make some type of argument, regardless of how bad it sounds, in order to avoid doing so. You know full well that Colts fans are stoked to have Andrew Luck right now, much as they were ecstatic that they landed Peyton Manning back in 1998.

    In any case, if and when Luck becomes a very good franchise quarterback, I expect to see you apologize to Ike and concede that he was right. I know that's a tough thing to do for you Norv apologists, because you're generally incapable of admitting to being wrong. But give it a shot, mmmmkay pumpkin? Thanks.
     
  23. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    If you cant keep up take notes.

    but keep calling me an apologist. Because if I am on the oposite ends of the spectrum from you I must be doing something right.
     
  24. Buck Melanoma

    Buck Melanoma Guest

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    It's the only big word he knows, Conc. You're expanding his opportunities to use it.
     
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  25. Ikeman83

    Ikeman83 Werter Pöbel

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    He looks to be the best QB prospect in the history of time, and it looks like he'll be starting on Sunday. We'll be finding out whether or not he was a blown pick very, very soon.
     
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  26. MadMike

    MadMike Well-Known Member

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    Any hometown sports writer hoping for the team to lose so the coach will be fired ought to be fired himself.
     
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  27. Lance19

    Lance19 BoltTalker

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    But that's the beauty! This is no local. He just got off the bus from Oregon (where he
    wrote about basketball) to wise up us dopey San Diego football fans about how we
    should want our team to lose. Lil' Mattie may not have any brains or understanding of the Chargers,
    but it takes huge stones to arrogantly claim you know more than fans who know much more than you do!
     
  28. Sydalish

    Sydalish Addicted to Sports

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    I don't think he'll be a bust (I think he'll be pretty solid-possibly great) but this line made me LOL for reals. Holy exaggerations batman :roflmao:
     
  29. Ikeman83

    Ikeman83 Werter Pöbel

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    I didn't say that he was going to be the best QB in the history of time, I said that he was the best QB prospect in the history of time, which, while certainly a subjective statement, is one which is certainly not exclusively mine.
     
  30. Sydalish

    Sydalish Addicted to Sports

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    It's the "in the history of time" part that puts it over the edge - not the player vs. prospect angle. He's a solid prospect for sure, maybe one of the best, but to say he's the best EVER in the history of anything is a blowing things out of proportion, hence my amusement.
     

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