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Funniest stuff ever!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by lechilka26, Aug 25, 2006.

  1. lechilka26

    lechilka26 BoltTalker

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    Excuse me for offtop, it too funny, haha! :)

    Why it is good to be a man?

    1. Your *** is never a factor in a job interview.
    2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
    3. Your last name stays put.
    4. The garage is all yours.
    5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
    7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    8. You don't give a rat's *** if someone notices your new haircut.
    9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    10. Same work .. more pay.
    11. Wrinkles-add character.
    12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
    13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
    14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
    15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
    18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
    19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
    20. You can open all your own jars.
    26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me.".
    27. No maxi-pads.
    28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
    29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
    30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
    32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

    so fuunnyy :))
     
  2. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Welcome :icon_eek: :icon_shrug: :icon_huh: :icon_confused: :icon_sad:
     
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  3. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Good one...........................:icon_rofl:
     
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  4. rexy2006

    rexy2006 Well-Known Member

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    f me swingin
     
  5. rexy2006

    rexy2006 Well-Known Member

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    bullshit bullshit bullsdhit
     
  6. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Come out in Jesus name......................:)
     
  7. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
    [/FONT][/FONT][/FONT]
     
  8. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
     
  9. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
     
  10. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
     
  11. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
    Why did he that basturd.......................
     
  12. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
     
  13. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
    Think about it............................
     
  14. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?
     
  15. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
     
  16. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
     
  17. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
     
  18. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
     
  19. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
     
  20. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
     
  21. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
     
  22. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
     
  23. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
     
  24. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Why can't you get a tan on your palms? :icon_huh:
     
  25. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
     
  26. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
     
  27. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights? :)
     
  28. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
     
  29. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money? :lol:
     
  30. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Why can’t a baby cry while it’s inside its mother?
     

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