1. Welcome to San Diego Chargers NFL Football Podcast and Forum!

    Bolt Talk is one of the largest online communities for the San Diego Chargers. We host a regular Chargers podcast during the season. You are currently viewing our community forums as a guest user.

    Create an Account or

    Having an account grants you additional privileges, such as creating and participating in discussions. Furthermore, we hide most of the ads once you register as a member!
    Dismiss Notice

Heaven and Hell

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Boltdiehard, May 24, 2007.

  1. Boltdiehard

    Boltdiehard Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,817
    Ratings:
    +1,171
    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.



    The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :



    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?



    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.



    One student, however, wrote the following:



    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.



    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which

    souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell

    will increase until all Hell breaks loose.



    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls

    in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell

    freezes over.



    So which is it?



    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......

    leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."



    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Messages:
    41,645
    Ratings:
    +2,172
    This is a great thesis!! :yes: :tup:
     
  3. AnteaterCharger

    AnteaterCharger Calibrating Bolttalk, Podcast by Podcast Staff Member Super Moderator Podcaster

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2006
    Messages:
    19,110
    Ratings:
    +2,929
    i'd give it an A
     
  4. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Messages:
    16,694
    Ratings:
    +2,022
    I've seen it a few times over the years. Wonder if it really was the answer to an essay test. Either way, it's genius... :yes:
     
  5. Thumper

    Thumper WHS

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2005
    Messages:
    15,615
    Ratings:
    +1,467
    That is one of the best things I've read in quite a while! Rep for you!
     
  6. WonderSlug

    WonderSlug Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2005
    Messages:
    9,747
    Ratings:
    +851
    This is definitely HOF college urban legend stuff (if it isn't true). :icon_tease: :icon_rofl: :abq1: :abq2: :tup:
     
    • Like Like x 2
  7. SDRaiderH8er

    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2006
    Messages:
    11,636
    Ratings:
    +2,072
    but it is still a great read, even if I have seen it a 100 times now.
    :yes:
     
  8. Boltdiehard

    Boltdiehard Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,817
    Ratings:
    +1,171
    Yeah yeah it still took a pretty smart person just to put this together. Geez you celebrate a b-day and get all serious on us. :lol:
     
  9. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Messages:
    41,645
    Ratings:
    +2,172
    word
     
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2006
    Messages:
    23,310
    Ratings:
    +1,703
    I've been to Heaven and Hell...whats your excuse...
     
    • Like Like x 2
  11. SDRaiderH8er

    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2006
    Messages:
    11,636
    Ratings:
    +2,072
    :icon_rofl: :icon_rofl:
     
  12. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Messages:
    41,645
    Ratings:
    +2,172
    are, I think :D
     
  13. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2005
    Messages:
    41,645
    Ratings:
    +2,172
    Hey, congrats on 3K posts!! :icon_eek: :tup: :icon_toast: :helm1:
     
  14. nickelbolt

    nickelbolt Fuggedaboutit

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2006
    Messages:
    6,167
    Ratings:
    +886
    BDH - I love that story every time I read it.

    Also... I love the album "Heaven and Hell" by Black Sabbath. Easily Dio's best effort with them. :rockout:
     
    • Like Like x 3
  15. 17Rocks

    17Rocks Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,075
    Ratings:
    +135
    This is actually from the works of the ancient greek stand-up philosopher Comicus better known as a Bullshit artist...

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 1

Share This Page