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Hilarious joke, so funny it deserves its own thread

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by HollywoodLeo, May 7, 2008.

  1. HollywoodLeo

    HollywoodLeo Well-Known Member

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    This guy is a genius.


    When girls don't put out!!
    This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

    Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE:

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

    We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
    dear, let's go to the cashier.'

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.
     
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  2. Thumper

    Thumper WHS

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    Ummm... that joke is kinda old.
     
  3. Ride The Lightning

    Ride The Lightning Join the Dark Side, we have cookies.

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    Yeah. Old joke is old.
     
  4. Concudan

    Concudan ...

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    Still funny. Losen up guys... :no:
     
  5. HollywoodLeo

    HollywoodLeo Well-Known Member

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    It's new if you haven't heard it before, like I hadn't when posting this thread. :icon_mad:
     
  6. Daddy_O

    Daddy_O Well-Known Member

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    Timeless Classic. BTW Thump, don't we all fit into the "Old" category?

    Thumper is an old fart, Thumper is an old fart! :icon_tease:
     
  7. Thumper

    Thumper WHS

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    Speak for yourself old man. :icon_tease:
     
  8. Thumper

    Thumper WHS

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    I thought it had been posted here before, but I searched and it wasn't. Must have been somewhere else. :icon_shrug:
     
  9. Daddy_O

    Daddy_O Well-Known Member

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    Cool. Enjoy it while you can. Life gets real serious too fast. :abq2:
     
  10. HollywoodLeo

    HollywoodLeo Well-Known Member

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    I should get a free bolt cash handout as an apology. :icon_evil:
     
  11. DaronEdwards

    DaronEdwards BoltTalker

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    That was actually pretty damn funny LeO, even if it IS an oldie.

    :icon_party:
     
  12. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Thumper gives out my Bolt$$ for staing a thread, that's all you're entitled to for starting this lame *** thread with this tired *** *cough* joke :tdown:
     
  13. sdbound

    sdbound Well-Known Member

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  14. LV Bolt Fan

    LV Bolt Fan Well-Known Member

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    :icon_rofl:
    Only you would know where to find something like that! :icon_rofl:
     

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