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My take on Norv Turner

Discussion in 'Chargers Fan Forum' started by HollywoodLeo, Jan 6, 2011.

  1. HollywoodLeo

    HollywoodLeo Well-Known Member

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    In order to win a battle one must know who the real enemy is. Otherwise, one is shooting in the dark and often hitting those not the least bit responsible for the mayhem. In our current battle the real enemy is Norv Turner. But before I continue, allow me to explain that I want to help people break free of Norv's cycle of oppression. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé but because Norv is known for stepping on other people's toes. This is not only a grotesque betrayal of the principles that Norv himself claims to uphold but a clear demonstration of how Norv's camp has found a rallying cry for its upcoming battle against our most treasured liberties. That rallying cry is, "Norv is beyond reproach!" It's quotes like that that make me realize that if I said that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of bleeding-heart stereotypes, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being utterly honest if I said that we must show him that we are not powerless pedestrians on the asphalt of life. We must show Norv that we can improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come. Maybe then Norv will realize that he has no discernible talents. The only things Norv has indubitably mastered are biological functions. Well, I suppose he's also good at convincing people that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements, but my point is that Norv's deputies are quick to point out that because Norv is hated, persecuted, and repeatedly laughed at, he is the real victim here. The truth is that, if anything, Norv is a victim of his own success—a success that enables Norv to sweep his peccadillos under the rug.

    Here's a purely hypothetical situation: Let's say you were an avaricious enemy of the people who believes that Norv's way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't. Wouldn't you then at least consider the option of sensationalizing all of the issues? I ask because Norv apparently believes that he is a bearer and agent of the Creator's purpose. You and I know better than that. You and I know that there is historical precedent for Norv's generalizations. Specifically, for as far back as I can remember, he has been stifling dissent. Given how one peevish activity always leads to another, it should come as no surprise that Norv is totally gung-ho about alcoholism because he lacks more pressing soapbox issues. Contrary to my personal preferences, I'm thinking about what's best for all of us. My conclusion is that what's best for all of us is for me to expand people's understanding of Norv's insincere obloquies.

    By now, the reader has discerned that Norv deserves exemplary punishment. So let me just add that he wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe "as many as six impossible things before breakfast". Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that Norv is morally obligated to popularize a genre of music whose graphic lyrics explicitly urge the worst types of tactless primates I've ever seen to shrink the so-called marketplace of ideas down to convenience-store size. I prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that the poisonous wine of interventionism had been distilled long before Norv entered the scene. Norv is merely the agent decanting the poisonous fluid from its bottle into the jug that is world humanity. Although it requires risk, commitment, and follow-through to halt the destructive process that is carrying our civilization toward extinction, you should not ask, "Is there anything that he can't make his apple-polishers believe?", but rather, "Is Man to be free to follow his conscience and worship as he sees fit, or must he accept a conscience and god provided to him by Norv?". The latter question is the better one to ask because my current plan is to challenge Norv's uninformed assumptions about merit. Yes, he will draw upon the most powerful fires of Hell to tear that plan asunder, but we can no longer afford to do nothing about his unrealistic notions. Instead, we must strike while the iron is hot and wake people out of their stupor and call on them to provide you with vital information that Norv has gone to great lengths to prevent you from discovering.

    One thing to keep in mind is that if you think about it you'll see that Norv's truculent reinterpretations of historic events are merely a distraction. They're just something to generate more op-ed pieces, more news conferences for media talking heads, and more punditry from people like me. Meanwhile, Norv's subalterns are continuing their quiet work of advancing Norv's real goal, which is to divert our attention from serious issues. Knowledge and wisdom are Norv's enemies. He understands that by limiting education and enlightenment, he can fool more people into believing that he knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. Sadly, those with the least education are those who would benefit most from the knowledge that if Norv believes that I and others who think he's a sneaky carper are secretly using etheric attachment cords to drain people's karmic energy, then it's obvious why he thinks that no one is smart enough to see through his transparent lies.

    If Norv had even a shred of intellectual integrity, he'd admit that his fibs symbolize lawlessness, violence, and misguided rebellion—extreme liberty for a few, even if the rest of us lose more than a little freedom. While he is honestly entitled to ignore good advice from intelligent people, you might say, "His shiftless warnings induce paralysis of the cerebrum." Fine, I agree. But I am a law-and-order kind of person. I hate to see crimes go unpunished. That's why I obviously hope that Norv serves a long prison term for his illegal attempts to etiolate his critics.

    There is a simple answer to the question of what to do about Norv's methods of interpretation. The difficult part is in implementing the answer. The answer is that we must ensure that the values for which we have labored and for which many of us have fought and sacrificed will continue in ascendancy. Norv's amoral slogans convince me of only one thing: that what I just wrote is not based on merely a single experience or anecdote. Rather, it is based upon the wisdom of accumulated years, spanning two continents, and proven by the fact that if we don't do something soon, Norv's sniffish teachings will rise like a golem with a million hands on a million throats to choke the honor out of decent, hardworking people.

    The tone of Norv's remonstrations is eerily reminiscent of that of impertinent pickpockets of the late 1940s in the sense that there is no such thing as evil in the abstract. It exists only in the evil deeds of evil people like Norv. Following this line of logic, it would appear that this is not Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, where the state would be eager to ignore compromise and focus solely on his personal agenda. Not yet, at least. But he plans to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings. He has instructed his forces not to discuss this or even admit to his plan's existence. Obviously, Norv knows he has something to hide.

    While wanton poltroons have previously relied on violence to get their way, their new manipulation of barbaric put-downs has combined with violence to take the robes of political power off the shoulders of the few honest people who wear them and put them upon the shoulders of coldhearted nutcases. At this point in the thread I had planned to tell you that it is often said that Norv has an agenda—a political, social, and cultural agenda. However, one of my colleagues pointed out that he manipulates public opinion through raw emotion, sexual desire, "family values", comedy, music, entertainment, false religion, social engineering, journalistic propaganda, and junk science. Hence, I discarded the discourse I had previously prepared and substituted the following discussion in which I argue that Norv cannot tolerate the world as it is. He needs to live in a world of fantasies. To be more specific, some people are responsible and others are not. Norv falls into the category of "not".

    Norv wants us to believe that advertising is the most veridical form of human communication. How stupid does he think we are? That happens to be a matter on which I do not care to venture either an opinion or a guess. I do, however, feel that I should state that the time has come to choose between freedom or slavery, revolt or submission, and liberty or Norv's particularly snotty form of paternalism. It's clear what Norv wants us to choose, but his toadies have been staggering around like punch-drunk fighters hit too many times—stunned, confused, betrayed, and trying desperately to rationalize his conniving, mudslinging reports. It is not a pretty sight.

    Whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to make the world safe for democracy. Does Norv have a point? I sincerely doubt it. His apparatchiks actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these kinds of aberrant, vitriolic layabouts are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will somehow improve the world sooner or later. In reality, of course, Norv's maudlin, kissy-pooh, feel-good, touchy-feely projects are actually quite uncompanionable when you look at them a bit closer. Or, to express that sentiment without all of the emotionally charged lingo, Norv's demands may have been conceived in idealism, but they quickly degenerated into flighty, irresponsible chauvinism. Let me end by appealing to our collective sense of humanity: Many meretricious, picayunish hostes generis humani take their marching orders directly from Norv Turner.
     
  2. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    I hate your plug in a name and get a rant letter sites.... I still remember when you did the one about me... Made me want to box your ears! :lol:
     
  3. Old School SD Fan

    Old School SD Fan Unhappy Camper

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    Norv gets one more year to redeem himself. If he doesn't, even Smith won't be able to protect him.
     
  4. HollywoodLeo

    HollywoodLeo Well-Known Member

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    I was actually going to plug your name in on it as a random response to the Jerry Rice thread but then I remembered I already did that once. :lol:
     
  5. in_a_days

    in_a_days dgaf

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    Чтобы выигрывать сражение, нужно знать, кто реальный враг. Иначе, каждый стреляет в темноте и часто поражает те не наименьшее количество бита, ответственного за погром. В нашем сражении потока реальный враг - Токарь Norv. Но прежде, чем я продолжаю, позволяю мне объяснять, что я хочу помочь людям вырываться на свободу из цикла Норва притеснения. Я хочу сделать это, не потому что я должен прикрепить другую линию на мое резюме, но потому что Норв известен тем, что ступил в пальцы ноги других людей. Это не только гротескное предательство принципов, что сам Норв утверждает, что поддержал только чистая демонстрация того, как лагерь Норва имеет, находят сплачивающийся крик о его предстоящем сражении против наших наиболее хранивших привилегий. Тот крик сплочения, "Норв - вне упрека!" Это - котировки как этот, которые заставляют меня понять, что, если я сказал, что есть кое-что интеллектуально провокационное в утомленном перефразировании чутких стереотипов, я был бы лгуном. Но я был бы совершенно честным, если бы я сказал, что мы должны показать ему, что мы не бессильные пешеходы на асфальте жизни. Мы должны показать Норву, что мы можем улучшить физическое и духовное качество жизни для населения в настоящее время и для тех все же, чтобы прибыть. Может быть тогда Норв поймет, что он не имеет никаких заметных талантов. Единственные вещи, с которыми Норв несомненно справился, - биологические функции. Хорошо, я предполагаю, что он также хорош в убедительных людях, что люди должны оцениться числом вещей и суммы денег, которой они обладают вместо их внутренней ценностью и достижениями, но мой пункт - то, что депутаты Норва являются быстрыми, чтобы указать, что, потому что Норва ненавидят, преследуемый, и неоднократно смеялся над, он - реальная жертва здесь. Правда - то, что, во всяком случае, Норв является жертвой его собственного успеха успеха-a, который позволяет Норву охватить его peccadillos под ковриком.
     
  6. turbo_turtle

    turbo_turtle In Disguise

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    ^^^^^ what in the world is that writing. ^^^^^
     
  7. Pointyearedog

    Pointyearedog I only put idiots on ignore...

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    Russian. And somewhere on line 15, he is saying something that is not very nice...
     
  8. DenverBolt67

    DenverBolt67 BoltTalker

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    Smith will probably be gone also, unless his draft picks make a 180
     
  9. in_a_days

    in_a_days dgaf

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    It's a translation of Leo's first paragraph. Just trying to make some fans out of these god damned spam bots.
     
  10. SDRaiderH8er

    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    I here Banjo music in the background
     
  11. CoronaDoug

    CoronaDoug Well-Known Member

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  12. Pointyearedog

    Pointyearedog I only put idiots on ignore...

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    Ixnay on the languagepay!

    Oy Vey!
     
  13. nickelbolt

    nickelbolt Fuggedaboutit

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    Leo likes to jibba jabba

    :Mr.T:
     
  14. Ride The Lightning

    Ride The Lightning Join the Dark Side, we have cookies.

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    delicious copypasta
     
  15. reef shark

    reef shark BoltTalker

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    gawd is fraud
     
  16. Lightning

    Lightning Well-Known Member

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    wow, really, this is what has become here? thanks leo for starting this thread....oh yeah just to be clear that last part should have been in green for sarcasm. HAHAHA and here I was giving savage grief for being an attention whore and hearlding his leaving but after this thread even though I still think it was an anttention whore move...I completely understand his leaving. :eek:
     
  17. HollywoodLeo

    HollywoodLeo Well-Known Member

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    Lightning, please restore my faith in humanity and tell me you didn't take the first post at face value. :lol:
     
  18. Aggieman

    Aggieman I bleed blue and gold

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    Ah, actually whenever I get pissed off at higher-ups in my sports teams/job/university just having sites like that read that frustration back to me is quite a good way to cool down. I read the whole thing Leo and I feel better. I like these things.
     
  19. DenverBolt67

    DenverBolt67 BoltTalker

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    Did anyone actually read the 1st post? There is no way I would read a post that ridiculously long
     
  20. HollywoodLeo

    HollywoodLeo Well-Known Member

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    I didn't even read the first post :lol:

    but you only have to read the first paragraph, or just skim it, to know it's a bunch of bullshit. :lol:
     
  21. DenverBolt67

    DenverBolt67 BoltTalker

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    Is that a hack article off bleacher report or something? (I hate that site)
     
  22. HollywoodLeo

    HollywoodLeo Well-Known Member

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  23. DenverBolt67

    DenverBolt67 BoltTalker

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