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Our Health and This Charger Team

Discussion in 'Chargers Fan Forum' started by TBF, Dec 10, 2007.

  1. TBF

    TBF BoltTalker

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    Notes from TBF, the analytical hack…

    First, I owe Norv, PR, and the offensive line a big apology. I was all over them yesterday to a point that it could have affected my health. These boys had me pissed off for 52 minutes yesterday.

    In the future, I ask Norval Eugene Turner, HC of the SD Chargers to let us in on his plan for the sake of our respective health. I ask that he have a pre game press conference explaining his strategy and plan. It should look/sound something like this.

    • (NORV) I would like to thank the fans and media for showing up to my pre game strategy conference. I’m here to explain our game plan. Lets hope the “other guys” are not listening. My hope is to keep the faith in the Chargers regardless of how we look. Thus far my mast plan has worked. We look like hell and more then likely we’re going to the playoffs. Man, I really hope my plan works.
    • OK…This is my plan for Tennessee. I will take questions at the end. I would like to start by asking the fans to trust me (LOL)…
    • 1. We will look like absolute *** doing it, but I plan on going 3 and out the first 3-4 series. Again, stay with me here. This is all a plan to wear the opposition out. I plan on running the ball to the left twice each series followed by a 3rd and long wherein we all know the opposing D is going to pin their ears back and knock the crap out of our QB. This is OK, don’t get bothered by it. I want to build Tennessee confidence up at this point. I would like for our offensive line to perform horribly.
    • 2. I ask our QB to not fix his mechanics. Pocket…? Who needs a pocket? If we use the pocket, we may be effective. I have asked PR to take a step back and to intentionally look like *** for about 85% of the game. I will let him play later. TRUST ME.
    • 3. This part is fun. Mike Scifres deserves a pro bowl. So, to ensure this, we’re going to punt as often as we can early to get him some necessary pub, and I will admit, I want to pad his stats. While we’re at it, I will be asking Kassim to get his *** down field quickly so he can cover these punts hopefully inside the 10, but inside the 20 is our ultimate goal. He too deserves another probowl.
    • 4. Again, Charger fans and media alike, I ask you to stay the course. I know what I’m doing here, I’m Norval Eugene Turner. Don’t let my overall head coaching record fool you. This too is part of my “MASTER PLAN” . It may appear that I am driving the Charger Porsche like it’s a Saturn, but life is not always to way it seems. TRUST ME!
    • 5. I will ask some of my marquee players to get injured. Gates, will fall hard and hurt his hip, he is one of my better actors on the team. PR, will jack up his knee (wink, wink), but again, don’t fret, they’ll both be back.
    • 6. LT will look human only for 52 minutes. I will get him touches and he will look phenomenal in the end….TRUST is the name of the game my fellow Bolt brethren. .
    • 7. Please don’t worry if you see our players in each others faces. This too is part of my master plan. I want Dierdorf to see this, comment on it and make it look like the wheels are falling off. Yep…part of the plan!
    • 8. You remember I mentioned that our offense was going to go 3 and out as often as they can. No big….This will allow our defense to get some needed time on the field. I’m not quite sure they’ve had enough time on the field. In the last 3-4 games, we have lost the time of possession game by an average of 5 minutes. I would like that number somewhere near the 8 minute mark.
    • 9. Being that our D is gonna get some serious field time, I would like Merriman to take a cheap shot and hurt his knee, again, all part of the plan. He will be fine (snicker, snicker)
    • 10. By this point, most of you who do not hear this pre game conference, will have written us off. We should be down by at least 2 TD’s, and the team should be wretched and tired. Most NFL media slugs will have already dropped us in the power polls. Yes, everyone, this is part of the plan. I don’t want anyone in the NFL concerned with us when the playoffs come.
    • 11. This is the fun part. At about the 8 minutes left in the game, we turn the switch on. We will make it look difficult, but again, it’s all part of the plan. The opposition is now cocky, they think they know our game. They think we will continue to run to the left, block poorly, and be satisfied with a ‘good’ punt etc…
    • 12. That is not our plan. I plan to win this game with a comeback that will get us on the NFL Reply (I really love that show) . My ultimate intention here is to make some of you look like *******s. I know you have been bashing me, my coaches, AJ, PR, OL, the D etc….I want you *******s to be regretting the everything you have said about us. Again, I don’t really mean this, I just wanted to point out that I do have a plan.
    • 13. In the end, we will win the game either in overtime, or sometime just before that. I hope nobody suffers major health problems because of this…It is my intention to prevent those by having this pre game conference to explain to you that it is all part of the master plan. Our team will stay the course. We will dominate in the end when the opposition is tired. I even hope some of their players try to taunt us. Maybe I can get one of them to mimic our players. That will be good TV don’t you think? That would be awesome… I would love to shove some Charger love back in their faces as well. If my plan goes well, we will win the game, and the injuries that you saw will be minor, but again necessary for my plan to work. Love ya Charger fans.
    • 14. PS…No time for questions, I have an appointment with my physiatrist. That guys a real *******, I don’t want to be late.
    STAY THE COURSE CHARGER FANS, It’s never easy!
     
  2. TBF

    TBF BoltTalker

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    Damn...No LOVE!

    This is some of my best stuff and it's all crickets in here!
     
  3. Ride The Lightning

    Ride The Lightning Join the Dark Side, we have cookies.

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    It's not very funny, that's why.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. TBF

    TBF BoltTalker

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    Sorry dude...Was it the "Saturn" joke? :icon_rofl:
     
  5. Carlsbad_Bolt_Fan

    Carlsbad_Bolt_Fan Well-Known Member

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    No! Not enough Rosie. :lol:
     
  6. Shamrock

    Shamrock Well-Known Member

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    Friggin' CLASSIC :bolt:
     

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