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RWA---Will work for REP

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Carrie1219, Feb 17, 2009.

  1. SDRaiderH8er

    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    Thats a great looking list, but I would rather see him up top in September not April
     
  2. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    I FLUNKED.... I did get a few right though... :lol: (Russian Revolution and deep red finch
     
  3. sdbound

    sdbound New Member

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    While you might think I’d use this space to inform you that Jody Gerut’s leadoff homerun at Citi Field last night was the first time a ballpark has been greeted with a homerun in the opening at bat, or to blab along about the San Diego Padres being 6-2 right now, I’ll spare you that. Instead I’m going to let you know just how great it is to have a microphone on when Heath Bell is in the room. Remember, this is the same guy who told a reporter his kids’ Wii Fit told him he was obese, so he lost 25 pounds using it.

    Yesterday, Bell was in rare form, going off about ESPN’s bias towards teams in certain media markets, while ignoring others (specifically the Padres).

    “I saw John Kruk on “Baseball Tonight” and he said, ‘They’re playing really well, but I don’t believe in them,’” Bell said before Monday’s game. “And I saw ESPN’s promo for tonight’s game. They mention the Mets are opening Citi Field, they mentioned the starting time, but nowhere did they mention the Padres. That gave me the (expletive).”

    Bell was just getting warmed up in his pregame commentary.

    “I truly believe ESPN only cares about promoting the Red Sox and Yankees and Mets - and nobody else,” said the closer, a former Met. “That’s why I like the MLB Network, because they promote everybody. I’m really turned off by ESPN and ‘Baseball Tonight.’ When Jake Peavy threw 8 1/3 innings on Saturday, they showed one pitch in the third inning and that was it. It’s all about the Red Sox, Yankees and Mets.”

    Can I just come right out and say that I now officially love Heath Bell. I liked the guy before, he’s pretty funny and has always been a great set-up guy, but this just seals the deal.


    He’s not saying anything crazy, just exactly what we’ve all been thinking for a long time. The fact that a player finally said it, is awesome. He’s basically saying that ‘Baseball Tonight’ sucks (which is does) because they show tons of Yankees/Mets/Red Sox highlights and spend very little time on the rest of the league. Though he doesn’t mention it, I’m sure the fact that they have 10 analysts cover the exact same topic over and over again gets on his nerves as well.

    So bravo Heath Bell, you keep being ESPN’s Unwanted Ombudsman. And keep enjoying the MLB Network, since you’re the only one and all.
     
  4. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
    116

    2) Which country makes Panama hats?
    Ecuador or guatimalla if I remember correctly

    3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
    Sheep

    4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
    November, Oktoberfest is celebrated in September in Germany...

    5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
    Hair...

    6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
    Dogs, from the latin term 'Canaria' which is dog.

    7) What was King George VI's first name?
    I would say George, but I recall something like Frederick...

    8) What color is a purple finch?
    Red


    9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
    New Zeland.


    10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?
    dunno
     
  5. ChargerJeff

    ChargerJeff Boltaholic

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    I fixed #5 for you :)
     
  6. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    Ah... are we talking curlies? :icon_huh::icon_eek: :lol:
     
  7. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Question - What’s the last thing to go through the Somali Pirates minds?

    Answer - A 168 grain 7.62 Sierra Match King!

    BADABING!!

    I’ll be here all week folks...try the veal!
     
  8. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    I was thinking bone fragments... :lol:
     
  9. sdbound

    sdbound New Member

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    I just threw up in my mouth.
     
  10. rexy2006

    rexy2006 Well-Known Member

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    That's cool, but they are using last year's headshot, which made him look snobbier.

    This year's headshot is much more friendly-like:

    [​IMG]
     
  11. rexy2006

    rexy2006 Well-Known Member

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    Source please!!! :icon_shrug::icon_huh:
     
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  12. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    I like that much better!! :tup:
     
  13. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    I'm writing my taxes owed check to the State of Utah. I usually never owe money to the state... I owe $760... :icon_eek:

    I feel like writing "F*ck You" on the "For" line... Maybe I'll go join a tea party or as Alina calls them, "pee party", as she pours you a make believe drink. :lol:
     
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  14. ChargerJeff

    ChargerJeff Boltaholic

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    wrote mine last night to CA - I was going to write an IOU but I figured my $500 just might save the state so I sent it...
     
  15. SDRaiderH8er

    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    This happened in a little town in New Mexico, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's absolutely true:

    This guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark and stormy night. The night was cold and wet and no cars went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car coming towards him and stopped. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car, closed the door, and only then realized that there was nobody behind the wheel!

    The car starts going again, very slowly. The guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way. Scared, he starts to pray and begs for his life. Just before the car hits the curve, a hand appears through the driver's window and turns the wheel.The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared each time the car approached a curve. Gathering his strength, he gets out of the car and runs all the way to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he goes into a cantina, asks for two shots of tequila and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went through. A silence enveloped everyone when they realized the guy was crying hysterically and wasn't drunk.

    About a half hour later, two other guys walk into the same cantina and one said to the other, "Mira, Juan, that's the pendejo that got in the car while we were pushing it!"
     
  16. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Wrong email address

    A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a
    particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they
    spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it
    was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So the husband left
    Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the
    following day.

    The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so
    he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out
    one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

    Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her
    husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following
    a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages
    from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and
    fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the Floor,
    and saw the computer screen which read:

    To: My Loving Wife

    Subject: I've Arrived

    Date: December 16, 2008

    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and
    you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and
    have been checked in. I've seen that everything has been prepared for your
    arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey
    is as uneventful as mine was.

    P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!
     
  17. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    :icon_eek: :icon_rofl: :icon_party:
     
  18. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    I received this from a good friend and had to share!!!!


    Ching Fuller was an exchange RAF pilot in a A-7 squadron at Davis Monthan
    AFB, AZ. He now lives in New Zealand.

    Wilbur Smith - A factual account

    The plight of the Black Rhinoceros is, or course, due mostly to the
    value of its horn and the ferocious poaching that this engenders.
    However, a contributory factor to the declining rhino population is
    the animals disorganized mating habits.

    It seems that the female rhino only becomes receptive to the male's
    attentions every three years or so, while the male only becomes
    interested in her at the same intervals. A condition known quite
    appropriately as "Must" The problem is one of synchronization,
    for their amorous inclinations do not always coincide.

    In the early Sixties, I was invited, along with a host of journalists
    and other luminaries, to be present at an attempt by the Rhodesian
    Game and Tsetse Department to solve this problem of poor timing.

    The idea was to capture a male rhino and induce him to deliver up that
    which could be stored until that day in the distant future when his
    mate's fancy turned lightly to thoughts of love.

    We departed from the Zambezi Valley in an impressive convoy of trucks
    and Landrovers, counting in our midst none other than the Director of
    the game department in person, together with his minions, a veterinary
    surgeon, an electrician and sundry other technicians, all deemed
    necessary to make the harvest.

    The local game scouts had been sent out to scout the bush for the
    largest, most virile rhino they could find. They had done their job to
    perfection and led us to a beast at least the size of a small granite koppie
    with a horn on his nose considerably longer than my arm.

    The trick was to get this monster into a robust mobile pen which had
    been constructed to accommodate him.

    With the Director of the Game Department shouting frantic orders from
    the safety of the largest truck, the pursuit was on. The tumult and the
    shouting were apocalyptic. Clouds of dust flew in all directions,
    trees, and vegetation were destroyed, game scouts scattered like chaff,
    but finally the Rhino had about a litre of narcotics shot into his rump and
    his mood became dreamy and benign.

    With forty black game guards heaving and shoving, and the Director still
    shouting orders from the truck, the rhino was wedged into his cage, and
    stood there with a happy grin on his face.

    At this stage, the Director deemed it safe to emerge from the cab of his
    truck and he came amongst us resplendent in starched and immaculately
    ironed bush jacket with a colourful silk scarf at this throat. With an
    imperial gesture, he ordered the portable electric generator to be brought
    forward and positioned behind the captured animal. This was a machine
    which was capable of lighting up a small city, and it was equipped with
    two wheels that made it resemble a roman chariot.

    The Director climbed up on the generator to better address us. We
    gathered around attentively while he explained what was to happen next.

    It seemed that the only way to get what we had come for was to introduce
    an electrode into the rhino's rear end, and to deliver a mild electric shock,
    no more than a few volts, which would be enough to pull his trigger for
    him.

    The Director gave another order and the veterinary surgeon greased
    something that looked like an acoustic torpedo and which was attached to
    the generator with sturdy insulated wires. He then went up behind the
    somnolent beast and thrust it up him to a full arms length, at which the
    Rhino opened his eyes very wide indeed.

    The veterinary and his two black assistants now moved into position with
    a large bucket and assumed expectant expressions. We, the audience,
    crowded closer so as not to miss a single detail of the drama. The Director
    still mounted on the generator trailer, nodded to the electrician who threw
    the switch and chaos reigned. In the subsequent departmental enquiry the
    blame was placed squarely on the shoulders of the electrician. It seems
    that in the heat of the moment his wits had deserted him and instead of
    connecting up his apparatus to deliver a gentle 5 volts, he had crossed his
    wires and the Rhino received a full 500 volts up his rear end.

    His reaction was spectacular. Four tons of rhinoceros shot six feet straight
    up in the air. The cage, made of great timber baulks, exploded into its
    separate pieces and the rhinoceros now very much awake, took off at a
    gallop.

    We, the audience, were no less spritely. We took to the trees with
    alacrity. This was the only occasion on which I have ever been passed by
    two journalists half way up a Mopane tree.

    From the top branches we beheld an amazing sight, for the chariot was
    still connected to the Rhinoceros per rectum, and the director of the
    game department was still mounted upon it, very much like Ben Hur, the
    charioteer.

    As they disappeared from view, the rhinoceros was snorting and blowing
    like a steam locomotive and the Director was clinging to the front rail
    of his chariot and howling like the north wind which only encouraged the
    beast to greater speed.

    The story has a happy ending for the following day after the director
    had returned hurriedly to his office in Salisbury, another male Rhinoceros
    was captured and caged and this time the electrician got his wiring right.

    I can still see the Rhinoceros's expression of surprised gratification as
    the switch was thrown. You could almost hear him think to himself. "Oh
    Boy! I didn't think this was going to happen to me for at least another
    three years!!"
     
  19. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Professionalism

    Pete was very nervous, going to see the nurse.

    Blushing bright red, he said to her, "You promise you won't laugh at me?"

    "Of course I won't laugh, I'm a professional nurse. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."

    "Okay then," Pete said and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest man thingy the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn't have been bigger than an AAA battery.

    Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling then almost fell to the floor laughing. A few minutes later she was able to regain her composure.

    "I'm so sorry," said the nurse. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now tell me, what seems to be the problem?"

    "It's swollen," Pete replied.

    Things went downhill from there.
     
  20. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Pads lost to the Mets 7-2 :icon_eek: :icon_sad: :tdown:
     
  21. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    OTOH, the Spurs beat the Hornets and get the #3 seed in the Western Conference playoffs!! :) :icon_toast:

    [​IMG]
     
  22. rexy2006

    rexy2006 Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG] YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWW!
     
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  23. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    The Spurs first playoff game is this Saturday at AT&T Center vs the Mavs, and me & my son will be there!! :yes: :tup:

    [​IMG]
     
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  24. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    Enjoy the game!:tup:
     
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  25. ChargerJeff

    ChargerJeff Boltaholic

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    Even though we root for different basketball teams, I think it's awesome that you get to go watch an event with your son - those are great times.
     
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  26. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Hi Hoes.

    I haven't been online much due to being really busy in RL but haven't forgotten my internet friends. Hope you are all doing well.

    RL is treating me very well and I'm very happy.
     
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  27. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    You're so right - the last time we went to a game together was in '05 jes before he deployed to Afghanistan :icon_toast:
     
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  28. chiefsgal

    chiefsgal New Member

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    oh boy...just what my mavs needed......:unsure::lol:
     
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  29. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Jesus Gal, ygbsm!! :lol: :icon_party: :icon_rofl:
     
  30. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Pads beat the Mets 6-5 to take the series 2 outta 3 games!!

    Heath Bell got credit for his 5th save, the quickest to 5 saves of any closer in Padre history!!

    [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Go Pads!! :tup: :icon_toast: :icon_banana: :flag:
     

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