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The continuing saga of the RWAs-the beat goes on-

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BFISA, Mar 17, 2008.

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  1. SDRaiderH8er

    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    your 2 fer 2, please wear something Steelers now :lol:
     
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  2. SDRaiderH8er

    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    But the view is nice
     
  3. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Some alleged Bolt Fans have way too much Bolt $$$ left over after that game :icon_evil:
     
  4. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    It means PDQ!! :icon_eek:
     
  5. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    Is PDQ an acronym?
     
  6. SDRaiderH8er

    SDRaiderH8er Well-Known Member

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    Its a Medical thing, not Ice Cream
     
  7. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    How'bout Rat Goddammit Now!! :icon_tease:
     
  8. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    :lol:
     
  9. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    You can't make this **** up-

    Subject: Arkansas Democrat & Gazette article

    Reprinted from the Arkansas Democrat & Gazette

    TWO LOCAL MEN INJURED IN FREAK ACCIDENT

    Two local men were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County Deputy Davey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis , 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center.

    The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned.

    The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that a .22 caliber bullet from his pistol would fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. When the bullet was inserted, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men continued eastbound toward the White River Bridge.

    After they had traveled approximately 20 miles and just before they crossed the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged, and struck Poole in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right, exiting the pavement and striking the tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released.

    "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his nuts off or we might have been dead," stated Wallis .

    Said Deputy Snyder, "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened!"

    Upon being notified of the wreck Poole's wife, Lavinia, asked how many frogs the boys had caught and whether anyone gotten them from the truck.
     
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  10. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Toby, have you ever been to certain parts of Arkansas? I have... I spent a week or so in Huntsville as a teenager. It was like culture shock to a girl from Chicago. :lol:
     
  11. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Been there, done that, Darlin...I try and make sure I have a full take of gas and a full belly, so there's no reason to stop when I hafta pass thru that state that even God has given up on.
     
  12. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    ...and my .45 where I can reach it!! :icon_eek:
     
  13. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was
    flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'

    I said, 'Dust.'

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
    anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes
    from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

    I bought her a scale.

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------


    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
    her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------


    After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
    apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter
    asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I
    looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
    home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
    have to go home and come back later.

    The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I
    opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said,
    'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
    me' and she processed my Social Security application.

    When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
    experience at the Social Security office.

    She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
    might have gotten disability, too.'

    And then the fight started...


    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------


    My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
    reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her
    drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

    My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

    'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand
    she took to drinking right after we split up those many
    years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

    'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could
    go on celebrating that long?'

    And then the fight started...


    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------


    I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
    reason, took my order first.

    "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

    He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

    "Nah, she can order for herself."

    And then the fight started...

    ------------ --------- --------- ---

    A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
    She is not happy with what she sees and says to her
    husband, 'I feel horrible! I look old, fat and ugly. I really
    need you to pay me a compliment.'

    The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'

    And then the fight started.....

    ------------ --------- --------- ------

    I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of wine for
    $14.95.

    Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

    I told her the wine would make her look better at night
    than the cold cream.

    And then the fight started....

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- -----

    My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look
    big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday

    and then the fight started.....

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------

    A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

    Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise
    came from outside.

    The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at
    the man, 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'

    So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped
    out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran
    through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

    A few minutes later he returned and went up to the
    bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM
    your husband!'

    The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

    And then the fight started.....

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------


    Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
    lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

    I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back
    out into a torrential downpour.

    The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
    garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
    would be bad all day.

    I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
    back into bed.

    I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
    anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is
    terrible.'

    My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my
    stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

    And then the fight started ...

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------

    I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
    anniversary?"

    It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
    appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long
    time!" she said.

    So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

    And that's when the fight started....

    ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

    My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A
    Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and
    said, "Do you want to have sex?"

    "No," she answered.

    I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

    She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
    "Yes."

    So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

    And that's when the fight started....
     
  14. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    ONLY A TRUE GOLFER WILL UNDERSTAND THIS:

    Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

    Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

    It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt . For a 10.

    Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

    You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.

    Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

    When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

    Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

    Hazards attract; fairways repel.

    A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

    If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint

    It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the lawn.

    Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.

    Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

    It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

    If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

    It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart if you are performing Brain Surgery!!!!

    In the end, is golf a wastONLY A TRUE GOLFER WILL UNDERSTAND THIS:

    Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

    Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

    It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt . For a 10.

    Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

    You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.

    Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

    When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

    Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

    Hazards attract; fairways repel.

    A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

    If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint

    It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the lawn.

    Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.

    Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.

    It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

    If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).

    It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and fart if you are performing Brain Surgery!!!!
     
  15. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    :hilarious:
     
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  16. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Y'all ain't got no sense of humor 'bout'dat :icon_eek: :no: :tdown:
     
  17. -Scar-

    -Scar- thedoomship.com

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    To Be Totlly Honest...Once My Team Is Out Of It...I Can Really Care Less Who Wns The Super Bowl...:tdown:



    Who Gives A ****? If It Aint The Bolts It's Still A Buncha Losers Holding A Trophy In My Mind....The Steelers Are The Luckiest Pieces Of **** I've Ever Seen PERIOD....And I Dont Wanna See the Cards Get Their First Before We Do...


    **** That With A Stick Covered In Hot Sauce:tdown:



    Got Dammit I Hate The NFL....It's A ****in Conspiracy Against My Bolts..
     
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  18. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Involuntary Muscle Contraction

    I hope none of you have this problem.


    A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on
    'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical
    students.

    Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor
    decided to lighten the mood slightly.

    He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know
    what your ******* is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

    She replied, 'Probably deer hunting with his buddies.'

    It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom.........
     
  19. PhillyChargerFan

    PhillyChargerFan New Member

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    Mornin people :abq2:
     
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  20. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Hey PCF!! :)
     
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  21. PhillyChargerFan

    PhillyChargerFan New Member

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    Hey BFISA!!! Hows it going??
     
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  22. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Hi Philly.... Nice to see you here. :wave:
     
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  23. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    I'm no longer in mourning, if that's what you mean :icon_eek:
     
  24. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.

    Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial; he decided to become a mechanic.

    He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

    When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

    When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade.

    "The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.

    You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

    After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."
     
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  25. Johnny Lightning

    Johnny Lightning Go Bolts

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    Will drink for rep...


    [​IMG]
     
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  26. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    [​IMG]
     
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  27. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    I'm feelin' good tonight.... I have finally had enough of a stalker from other forums and went as high up as I had to go to stop this person.... The obsession of this person was just unreal.... I ended up getting a two week ban in the process (along with the stalker) but it's very much worth it. :lol: :lol: :lol:

    Hay, I've even been invited back to LLV.... It's kind of a half assed invitation...:lol: but it's OK.
    Apparently LLV's football and sports sections are now open to the public. Guests can post in these sections too... One has to register to read the gossip, trash talk, and gambling sections.

    With all that said.... BOLTTALK is still my FAVORITE FORUM.... :icon_mrgreen:
     
  28. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Hay, you who gave me the hot chick rep, you need to get out more. :icon_rofl: :icon_rofl: :icon_rofl:

    Seriously though, THANKS, that was sweet...


    Edit: Wait a minute... You didn't leave the rep for the wrong person now did ya? :lol:
     
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  29. auctoritas

    auctoritas BoltTalker

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    :lol:
     
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  30. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Guys. we need to turn Johnny Lightning 1000.... I just repped him today and he's at 991....

    Hurry....:icon_tease: :flag:
     
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