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The continuing saga of the RWAs-the beat goes on-

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BFISA, Mar 17, 2008.

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  1. sdbound

    sdbound New Member

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    Here are 8 types of people you’ll find inside a Starbucks that are guaranteed to annoy the **** out of you.

    8. Manager Who Refuses to Recognize the Words Small, Medium, and Large

    [​IMG]
    I understand, you’re a corporate guy and thus must abide by company policies by calling the different sizes by their Starbucks Christian names of Venti, Grande, etc…. But if I ask you for a small, don’t act like I’m speaking to you in that Native American langauge we used in World War II to deliver coded messages. You’re familiar with the sizes small, medium and large, and if you’re not, then you might want to change underwear because there’s a good chance there’s a sizeable amount of **** in them due to your inability to grasp the concept of wiping your *** after defecating.

    7. Intern Who is Buying for the Entire Office

    [​IMG]
    Wearing an all-white or striped button down shirt, this guy shows up with a legal pad full of hastily scribbled orders. “Yeah, I’m gonna need 24 tall skinny soy lattes with sugar free hazelnut extra hot…and 32 grande no caff cappuccinos with light whip cream, sugar free hazelnut and vanilla with white chocolate mocha. And 14 grande supremos with a triple shot, sugar free vanilla, extra white mocha, no whip, no foam and an extra drizzle. Oh, and can I get a smiley face on the bottom of all those?” And he knows if one of these orders is screwed up, it’s going to cost him a chance at the a full-time gig as assistant editor where he can bring coffee to even more important people. So instead of just grabbing his bags and leaving, he inspects all 70-odd cups in his 17 flimsy cardboard holders. If you get behind this guy, you may as well give up any hopes of getting a cup of joe in your lifetime. You’re better off flying to Colombia, slitting Juan Valdez’s throat and stealing his coffee-harvesting burro.

    6. The Writer Who Wants You to Know They’re a Writer

    [​IMG]
    Being a writer is a pretty cool occupation, but unfortunately you can’t tell someone’s a writer just by looking at them. And having to tell someone you’re a writer is way less impressive. Therefore, these people go to the busiest Starbucks and pop open their iMac, making sure their screen is clearly displaying a full page of text (or clear screenplay format for those in Los Angeles). Their next step is to make sure they’re facing away from where everyone goes to pick up their drinks while staring at the screen while remembering to take deep breaths which will indicate to others that deep and creative thought that normal minds are not capable of, is taking place. Who gives a **** if an ahole and his mac have spent six hours taking up a table normally reserved for four people, it’s important you know that they’re juggling a complex story about a boy in Alaska who comes of age and befriends a bear. That’s right, they’re creating that using only their minds!

    5. Overly Happy Line Greeter/Order Taker

    [​IMG]
    At some point, the Starbucks Corporation realized that their growing legions of employees didn’t have the best people skills. Their answer was to create their own version of the Wal-Mart Greeter who also takes your order. But since they don’t pay ****, you end up having some G.E.D.-havin’ dumbass or an excruciatingly-lonely elderly woman force their brand of corporate chit-chat down your throat. Instead of waiting to pay for your overpriced chai in peace, you have to deal with: “Goooooood morning today! How are you? Some kinda weather we’re having isn’t it? I wish I was outside in the park! Wouldn’t that be nice? It’s sooooo sunny! And what’s better for you than a nice big dose of Mr. Sun! Maybe some coffee? Ha! So, what can we get you today? Need a little pick-me-up? You do! I think we ALL could use one, yes we could! YES WE COULD! Anyway, I’ll get this chai order right up for you. What’s your name? Terry? That’s my cousin’s name! Small world. Yes. It. Is. Small world indeed….Hi! And how are you doing today?!?!”

    4. Complicated Order Guy Who Needs his Coffee Right The F*&K Now.

    [​IMG]
    When you order coffee, it shouldn’t sound like you’re giving the pass code to a missile defense system. If you’re lactose intolerant, on a strict diet, and can’t handle a full dose of caffeine, how about instead of ordering a “non-fat, grande, soy chai latte with a half shot of espresso and no foam” and then stand in front of the pick up window and pace like one of Michael Vick’s pitbulls watching Vick pull out the rap e stand after losing a fight, you just grab a glass of god damn water and drink that. Last I checked that won’t give you exploding diarrhea or anxiety… unless you’re at the Starbucks in Tijuana.

    3. The Guy Who Hates Starbucks But Goes There Every Day

    [​IMG]
    Armed with armchair political rants, this guy is the world’s biggest bore and the world’s biggest hypocrite combined into one big uber-shithead. He won’t shut up about how Starbucks is bad for the environment and how they’re taking over the world and how their coffee totally “doesn’t taste like the gourmet stuff downtown.” But when you bring up the fact that he’s ranting about Starbucks while he’s actually inside a Starbucks, his crappy hippie-wannabe excuses just start piling up. “Well, here’s the thing, I just didn’t have time to make it over to my usual coffee place. You know the one way over on 2nd Ave? Yeah, it’s one of the last mom and pop coffee shops in the area. I toooootally love that place. It’s so real. I was on my way over there, but the traffic was a killer, so I was totally forced to get my fix at this place. I mean, the rich get richer, right? That’s the law of the land. I totally can’t stand that I have to come here, but that’s what they do. They tie your hands, man. These big corporations. They just own you. They’re everywhere. Can you hand me one of those Splenda?”

    2. Study Groups

    [​IMG]
    Hey, screw the library with all it’s “room” and “group space.” It makes way more sense to go to an incredibly busy and crowded Starbucks with tables that have insufficient space to lay your books. Everyone knows you have a poli-sci midterm, mostly because they can hear every ****ing thing you’re saying because you’re yelling so that you can be heard over a frappucino being made. If you could, would you hold a study group session in a Turkish prison? Because Starbucks is basically the same thing, except with less gay sex, and a little bit better coffee.

    1. The Person Who Peruses the DVD Section As If They Might Purchase.

    [​IMG]
    It’s really great when you’re waiting in line behind somebody only to realize that they’re not in line, but instead deciding whether or not they want to purchase the “Pursuit of Happyness” DVD. “Gee what’s this movie Pursuit of Happyness about? I didn’t hear of it last summer when it grossed over 100 million dollars. Even though I’ve come here for coffee, I should carefully peruse the back cover to find out more about it!” Also, please don’t pick up a copy of “Akeelah and the Bee” as if you were going to buy it. No one buys that movie. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s not even a real movie, it was just a box cover created by a group of white Starbucks executives so that customers could hold it in their hands and pretend to read the back, giving the impression to those around them that they’re progressive thinkers who seek out and enjoy films with African American casts.
     
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  2. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Have fun!

    The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls.

    If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal. It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes.

    Give it a try but be careful...it is addictive!!


    Air Force Test
     
  3. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Someone should stick to jes plain decaf :icon_twisted: :icon_rofl:
     
  4. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    AGonz with a 2 run Jack, Pads lead the Reds 3-2, toppa the 6th!! :yes:

    Go Pads!! :)
     
  5. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Pads get HRs from Agonz, Kouz and 2 from Khalil and rout the Reds 8-2!! :yes:

    Go Pads!! :tup:
     
  6. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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  7. EsDee_in_RI

    EsDee_in_RI Well-Known Member

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    • Like Like x 2
  8. Buck Melanoma

    Buck Melanoma Guest

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    Starbucks coffee tastes like it's been strained through old socks. :tdown:
     
  9. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    I like the Venti Cinnamon Dolce Latte, Nonfat, Sugar Free. with Whip!! :yes: :tup:
     
  10. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Mornin y'all!! :)
     
  11. Carrie1219

    Carrie1219 Banned Banned

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    Dem are some pretty big doggie logs, Toby. :lol:
     
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  12. Lightning's Girl

    Lightning's Girl Mod Chick =) Staff Member Moderator

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    You're right..........that's 0.436 seconds of my life I'll never get back!!:icon_sad:

    Actually, that IS quite addictive, and I bookmarked it so I can go back and try it again. And again. And again..........:lol: dammit, I'm not gonna let some stupid blue blocks knock MY *** out of the air, no way no how!!
     
  13. Lightning's Girl

    Lightning's Girl Mod Chick =) Staff Member Moderator

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    Re: Poop Freeze

    That little spoof just proves my point about the genus T. ree hugger: they have absolutely NO sense of humor. You'd think someone just shat on their new Earth Shoes by the comments about this, ahem, "product".

    Personally, I wish there WAS such a thing........especially when I step in my ankle-biter's Tootsie rolls first thing in the morning...........
     
  14. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
  15. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

    Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."
    PC Nelson at Trafalgar-

    Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the
    meaning of this?"

    Hardy: "Sorry sir?"

    Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or
    her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious
    persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledegook is this?"

    Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal
    opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting '
    England ' past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

    Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

    Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated
    smoke-free working environments."

    Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the
    mainbrace to steel the men before battle."

    Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the
    Government's policy on binge drinking."

    Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it
    ........... full speed ahead."

    Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this
    stretch of water."

    Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in
    history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's
    nest please."

    Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

    Nelson: "What?"

    Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No
    harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They
    won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."

    Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

    Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck
    Admiral."

    Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

    Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a
    barrier-free environment for the differently abled."

    Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse
    even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral
    by playing the disability card."

    Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in
    the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

    Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

    Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't
    let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want
    anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

    Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell
    the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

    Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

    Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

    Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being
    charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There's a couple of
    legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

    Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

    Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

    Nelson: "We're not?"

    Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners
    now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in
    this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for
    compensation."

    Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

    Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-ordinator hear you
    saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

    Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your
    King."

    Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural
    age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your
    life"

    Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum,
    sodomy and the lash?"

    Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on
    corporal punishment."

    Nelson: "What about sodomy?"

    Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."

    Nelson: "In that case............................... kiss me, Hardy."
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. wrbanwal

    wrbanwal Well-Known Member

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    Dam Builders

    SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

    Dear Mr. DeVries:

    It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
    that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above
    referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal
    landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
    Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across t he
    outlet stream of Spring Pond.

    A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A
    review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been
    issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is
    in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Stream s, of the Natural
    Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts
    of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania
    Compiled Laws, annotated.

    The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
    failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at down
    stream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently
    hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you
    to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the
    stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming
    the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be
    completed no later than January 31, 2008.

    Please notify this office when the restoration has been c ompleted so
    that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure
    to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the
    site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
    action.

    We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this
    matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any
    questions.

    Sincerely,

    David L. Price

    District Representative and Water Management Division.





    response sent back by Mr. DeVries:





    Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

    Dear Mr. Price,

    Your certified letter dated 7/17/07 has been handed to me to respond
    to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane
    , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .

    A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
    constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet
    stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor
    supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that
    you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'

    I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their
    dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can
    safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills,
    their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence,
    their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.





    These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request,
    I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a
    dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

    My first dam question to you is:

    (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
    (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said
    dam request?

    If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through
    the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those
    other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.

    (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301,
    Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
    Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections
    324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)

    I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers
    entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are
    financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation --
    so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The
    Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed
    during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a
    natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In
    other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than
    harassing them and calling them dam names.

    If you want the stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please
    contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they
    obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being
    unable to read English.

    In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build
    their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green
    and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live
    and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and
    Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the
    natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

    So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
    referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until
    1/31/2008? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and
    there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

    In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
    environmental quality, health, problem in the area. It is the bears!
    Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you
    should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.
    If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The
    bears are not careful where they dump!

    Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to
    contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response
    to your dam office.

    THANK YOU,

    RYAN DEVRIES
    & THE DAM BEAVERS
     
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  17. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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  18. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    American Airlines to start charging for.....


    snipped........



    Things appear to be dire at American Airlines. The Fort Worth-based carrier announced Wednesday plans to slash its flight schedule and workforce, as the airline struggles to cope with high fuel prices.

    Passengers will also feel the pain, reports The Associated Press... as the airline will start charging for ALL checked luggage as of June 15. The first bag will cost $15; additional luggage will be hit with the $25 per-bag fee American announced last month.

    Elite-level members of American's frequent flier programs will be exempt from at least part of the new luggage fees, as well overseas passengers and full-fare ticketholders. The airline is the first legacy carrier to charge for all checked luggage; it's unclear whether it will be the last, but we wouldn't bet against it.

    American also plans to raise other fees by up to $50 per service.

    The carrier -- which managed to avoid following its rivals into bankruptcy several years ago -- also plans to cut domestic capacity by as much as 12 percent in the fourth quarter of 2008, mostly through the retirement of its oldest MD-82 and MD-83 jets. American had previously forecast a 4.6 drop in Q4 capacity.

    Gerard Arpey, chairman and CEO of American parent company AMR, said the changes (and charges) were being made to adapt to "the current reality of slow economic growth and high oil prices."

    As for layoffs at the world's largest carrier, Arpey did not cite an exact number... but when he was asked whether he expects the figure to be in the thousands, Arpey answered in the affirmative.

    Not surprisingly, shares in AMR fell over 24 percent following Wednesday's announcement, which came during American's annual shareholders meeting.
     
  19. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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  20. -Scar-

    -Scar- thedoomship.com

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    OH YEAHHHHH!!!!!


    Lakers In 4 Y'alll!!!!!!




    :cool:
     
  21. Lightning's Girl

    Lightning's Girl Mod Chick =) Staff Member Moderator

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    Nice article, Toby.:tup:

    I like the fact that it portrays the older person's distractibility as a GOOD thing. For several years now I've---oh look, a kitty!---become much less able to focus on one thing for a long time, like I did when I was younger. Now I've got this multitasking thing down pat---Hello? No, my son Chris is NOT home, and why the eff are you calling at midnight?!---and I can do all sorts of stuff at the same time. And it doesn't even mean I'm getting Alzheimer's!!:yes:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  22. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Crap, the Spurs and the Pads took it in the shorts tonite :tdown: :icon_sad:
     
  23. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    :tup: :icon_toast:
     
  24. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    All Repped Out!! :)
     
  25. Buck Melanoma

    Buck Melanoma Guest

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    Good morning, Bolt fanatics!!!! :tup:

    Hope you all have a safe & happy Memorial Day weekend. Please remember the men & women who have fought & died to protect our freedoms. :flag:
     
  26. Shamrock

    Shamrock New Member

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    Dammit .... I'm having a hard time repping ..... gotta spread.
     
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  27. Buck Melanoma

    Buck Melanoma Guest

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    Whoa, dude - that's WAY more information than I needed. :icon_tease: :lol:
     
  28. Shamrock

    Shamrock New Member

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    Oh yeah .... sure. You wanted to know just that. :yes:

    :lol:
     
  29. Buck Melanoma

    Buck Melanoma Guest

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    Ssshhhhhhh ..... not in public. :no: :icon_tease: :lol:
     
  30. Shamrock

    Shamrock New Member

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    :icon_eek:

    :abq2: :icon_eek::icon_eek: :abq1:
     
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