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Witches for Brady

Discussion in 'Chargers Fan Forum' started by Blue Bolt, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. Blue Bolt

    Blue Bolt Persona Non Grata

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    Salem witches to give Tom Brady a spiritual lift for Tebow rematch

    God may be Tim Tebow's co-pilot, but it seems that Tom Brady, the quarterback Tebow's going up against this Saturday in the divisional round of the playoffs, has some otherworldly support from an unexpected source. A group of witches (Wicca? We want to be politically correct around here) in Salem, Massachusetts (yes, that Salem, Massachusetts) planned to gather on Friday the 13th (spooky!) to try and beat the Sports Illustrated cover curse for the New England Patriots quarterback, and give him the most supernatural force possible when going up against Tebow's Denver Broncos.​
    We're pretty sure we're not making this up.​
    Sorceress Laurie 'Lorelei' Stathopoulos said that her coven wasn't quite as successful when planning a recent spiritual intervention for Charlie Sheen (for which Mr. Sheen was not actually present), but there are better hopes this time.​
    "You know, we had a hard time getting all the girls (fellow witches) to come," Lorelei told the Boston Herald of the Sheen attempt. "But when we told them this Circle was for Tom Brady, oh, everybody will be there!"​
    Ah — so attendance is key. According to the Herald, this is how it goes:​
    At the 10-minute ceremony at Crow Haven Corner, the city's first witch shop, there will be an altar set up with a Brady puppet — sewn for the occasion by another local sorceress — and mojo bags filled with herbs and stones for every Patriots player.

    Lorelei said she will use the Tebow gesture and chant the following: "Tom Brady will see what he needs to see, be where he needs to be and will take the Patriots to another victory."

    The nice part is that the coven will not actually be trying to put any sort of bad juju on Tebow himself — these Magical Mystery Tourists are staying positive with this action and just helping out their main man. But to actually Tebow while doing so? Isn't that playing both ends against the middle?
    "We want the true champion to come out on Saturday night," fellow broom-rider Lori Bruno told the Herald. "But since we live in Patriot Land, it's red, white and blue and make the dream come true!"​
    Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, who may want to talk to these folks about a consultancy (he is an outside- the-box strategic thinker, after all) could not have said it better himself.​
     
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  2. AnteaterCharger

    AnteaterCharger Calibrating Bolttalk, Podcast by Podcast Staff Member Super Moderator Podcaster

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  3. Ride The Lightning

    Ride The Lightning Join the Dark Side, we have cookies.

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    [​IMG]

    I'll be wearing this when I watch the game tomorrow. Hail Satan!
     
  4. Sydalish

    Sydalish Addicted to Sports

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    The world is such a ridiculous place... I have no words... hahahaha

    EMBRACE THE INSANITY!
     
  5. Savage Lizard

    Savage Lizard Charger fan at 7000'

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    GO WITCHES!
     
  6. FCBolt

    FCBolt Well-Known Member

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    Brady was already going to win.

    Those ******* witches are gonna screw the mojo.
     
  7. Buck Melanoma

    Buck Melanoma Guest

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    I'm sacrificing a chicken tomorrow.
     
  8. AnteaterCharger

    AnteaterCharger Calibrating Bolttalk, Podcast by Podcast Staff Member Super Moderator Podcaster

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    [​IMG]
     
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  9. Duffman57

    Duffman57 BoltTalker

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  10. JohnnyX

    JohnnyX 2017 Chargers Head Coach

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    Definitely not gonna watch the game now.
     
  11. Buck Blincoe

    Buck Blincoe BoltTalker

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    The witches were decertified last night. God threw 6 TD passes. Tim who?
     
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  12. Pointyearedog

    Pointyearedog I only put idiots on ignore...

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    Looks like Tommy showed Timmy last night. Timmy played like, Timmy...

    64px-Timmy813.png
     
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  13. boltfanatik

    boltfanatik Toxic Minority Member

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    :roflmao:
     

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