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'WTF is this Clown Talking About?'

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Concudan, Jun 22, 2007.

  1. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    It has long been theorized that Garden Gnomes were involved in the drug trade. Though most evidence point the the trafficing of LSD and stolen rhimestones across international borders. However one could point the finger at a Gnomish cartel of drug smugglers operating from the central American highlands.

    However at this time little evidence is known to the public. The DEA is said to have volumes of bluebook cases against the G.N.A.D.S (Gnomish Noreaga American Drung Smuglers) but those have not be declassified for fear of exposing Gnome operatives who have worked their way deep undercover within the GNADS organization.

    Such lack of public information, and the constant barage of Gnomish abductions have continued to cloud the issues and make things difficult to try in the court of public opinion.

    Your responce sir?!
     
  2. Boltdiehard

    Boltdiehard Well-Known Member

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    I don't really get all the discussion. What needs to die?
     
  3. BoltsFanUK

    BoltsFanUK Well-Known Member

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    Garden Gnomes are nothing but problems so i'm not no gnome loving Nancy Boy..get rid rid of all of the little buggers..all they do is cause problems
     
  4. in_a_days

    in_a_days dgaf

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    The fact that the DEA needs gnome informants is indication enough that something sinister is in the works. I don't pretend to know everything about what those li'l buggers are up to. I just know that I genuinely fear for my life because of what I suspect my gnome has been involved in. Almost sounds like you're covering for something Mr. Host. :icon_eek:
     
  5. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    There is no cover up here. I am merely pointing out that there is little to no public information on the aleged actions of GNADS. Nor do I find it a sound argument to lump all Gnomish disapearances together under the pink ribbon of international drug trade. I find it more likely that a few Gnomes trafficing in processed Norwegian Bridge Troll foot fungus has given rise to the increasing claims of a Latin America Gnomish drug cartel. I ask you sir, would not garden gnomes stand out in a field of Cocoa plants? Do you not think that such evidence would be nigh impossible to keep out of the local media chanels, sir?

    It sounds as if you want to make a claim that there is a Gnomish sympathy in todays media. Or is it that you feel some wealthy Gnomes out there control today's media? I find that thought laugable good sir!

    To bring us back on topic I offer this documented evidence of BoltFanUK's actions in England:
    Abducted Garden Gnomes? Want to know more? Click here:
     
  6. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    Good Sir it will do no good to make false claimes on this program. There are too many well documented cases where you have been acrtivly involved in the Underground Gnome Railroad. The series of 'Safe Gardens' through which Gnomes are traficed from the lower area's of England to 'freelands' in the Scotish Highlands. Do you deny such involvement sir?
     
  7. BoltsFanUK

    BoltsFanUK Well-Known Member

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    Yeah i do...I would never help garden gnomes after what they had done to me and my family..they killed my brother and i'll never forgive those *** holes so screw gnomes..they deserve to die
     
  8. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    Tragic! Why dont you tell us what happened? Did you brother stumble in on a Garden Gnome planning his holiday?
     
  9. in_a_days

    in_a_days dgaf

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    Okay the first problem with the whole GD gnomish sub-culture is that, much like our Muslim friends in Iraq, they're totally secularized. You've got one school of thought that says the gnomes should be stationary sentinals in the yards of those who have purchased said gnome. The other sect suggest that this is a form of imprisonment or slavery and that gnomes should be free to roam whoevers lawn they feel like for whatever reason. These gnomish liberitarians need to quit hugging trees and stop lobbying for gnomish autonomy. As inanimate objects gnomes are entitled to zero constitutional protection. They are the property of those who have paid for their likeness and services. Give me one good reason a gnome for whom I have provided care and a safe home, ought to be able to up and fly to Columbia without so much as a text message? :icon_shrug:

    These BS "liberation fronts" are the american equivolent of al qaeda or other insurgent groups in the middle east. Pimping their wiki is tantamount to soliciting donations for the Bin Ladden club at your local mosque. Look at how what these savages do to these gnomes! They kidnap them on a massive scale then abandon them along side a stream in the middle of nowhere! Or take them to the local high school where everything and everyone is subject to torturous antagonism pretty much constantly. I don't wanna hear that these MFers are liberators or revolutionaries or GD abolitionists. They're a bunch of stupid drunken teenagers that just need to catch a left hook or somethin'.

    And there is no doubt that there is a strong, media-supported sympathy movement. All over the world media outlets are spinning these thefts as cute or amusing or some big joke. What if it were bands of 12 year olds stealing cigarettes from 7-11's. Would it still be cute? Would they call themselves the "Tobacco Liberation Front?" I don't know how far up the ladder it goes. But have you ever taken a good look at one of those little gnomes? Strange long hair, facial fuzz, head covering... don't tell me I'm the only ones that has deduced their entire species to be ethnic hasidic jews. For fear of reprisal I can not say that the jews run the media (or perhaps the world), but I think a little hint, hint, nudge, nudge should get my point accross.
     
  10. BoltsFanUK

    BoltsFanUK Well-Known Member

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    My brother was sitting down in the garden and the gnomes started moving towards him..he tried to resist but there was no many garden gnomes..before i could get out and help...he was gone:icon_sad: ..and i never saw my little brother ever again
     
  11. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    Sir I find the fact that you treat Garden Gnomes with no sense of character, rights, or freedoms repulsive. To sit here and admit that you yourself have purchesed Gnomes proves that you are at the core of the problem. I find your comments on the ownership of said Gnomes akin to the slave oweners comments prior to the Civil war.

    What right do you have to trafic in othe beings. These Garden Gnomes are more than just lawn ornaments. They are creatures with feeling and a society. A society that is under constant attack by the likes of you. Now I find you compairing Garden Gnomes with Muslims and hasidic jews, what is next? Stating that Arian Gnomes lead to the rise of the third reich?

    I will give this point to you however. There are many 'owners' of Garden Gnomes who are saddened by the loss of 'their' Gnome. Those people could be the true victims in this situation. There have been documented cased of 'Gnomes gone wrong.' The video series published by ThumperWorld Ltd. 'When Lawn Gnomes Attack' documents the worse case scenarios that should not be considered a measuring stick by which to judge Gnomish society.
     
  12. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    Pehaps this is just a Traveling Gnome prank played in reverse? Could be your Brother is having his picture taken from atop the Great wall of China right at this very moment.
     
  13. BoltsFanUK

    BoltsFanUK Well-Known Member

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    I don't know anymore..ever since that fateful day..i haven't seen or heard from my little brother:icon_sad:
     
  14. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    He could show up any day with a new photo album, and a bunch of wild tales. Or it could be he was ritualistically sacrafised to the Pagan Gnome Gods of Yor...

    Who know with the little buggers.

    However, I hasten to add that it could have also been a ploy by the Liliputian Underground Sex Traficers (L.U.S.T) who took your borther while dressed as a common Garden Gnome, but are now indeed using him in their sex orgies as a play thing. It could be indeed that your brother right now is tied face down next to Leisure himselfe. The L.U.S.T organization is believed to be in league with the Norwegian Bridge Trolls in this matter.
     
  15. in_a_days

    in_a_days dgaf

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    To the best of my knowledge the constitution of our great nation applies exclusively to human beings. While we have a volumes upon volumes of laws relating to property, conduct, and animals I do not see how gnomes are provided any protection whatsoever. Free will is the only thing that will earn them legal protection for these decorative little things, and ironically, it's their apparent free will which has compelled so many against their liberation. It seems apparent that these gnomes are more interested in disrupting than contributing to society. We have evidence of loitering, curfew breaking, kidnapping and potentially murder (depending on if BFUKs bro makes it home), with absolutely zero positive contributions to compensate for this burden. Maybe if we had some rich philanthropic gnomes building houses in New Orleans we could turn a blind eye to the flagrant violence that ensues when gnomes decide to "wake up." But within the framework of that status quo gnomes are (rightfully) property and subject to the will of their purchaser. How dare you suggest that my completely legal position is the problem. The real issue here is busy-body nosey *** neighbors like you that can't keep your head out of other peoples business. What I do with my own gnome in my front yard is my business and no one elses.

    And they would all be arian gnomes if I had my way. :yes:
     
  16. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    So you lump all gnomes together. All bad, no good. Is that a wise way to approach the topic at hand?
     
  17. Shamrock

    Shamrock New Member

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    Do you need BDH and me to blast something?
     
  18. AnteaterCharger

    AnteaterCharger Calibrating Bolttalk, Podcast by Podcast Staff Member Super Moderator Podcaster

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    can i come too? I need to blow away some steam
     
  19. BFISA

    BFISA Well-Known Member

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    Pidgens love garden gnomes-

    [​IMG]
     
  20. Boltdiehard

    Boltdiehard Well-Known Member

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    Remember the movie Stripes?

    "All I know is I finally get to kill somebody".

    Conc be warned there is a good possibility of collateral damage so stay the fuc out of the way.
     
  21. chiefsgal

    chiefsgal New Member

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    :icon_huh:
     
  22. in_a_days

    in_a_days dgaf

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    I guess to some extent that is what I'm doing. But understand that I don't advocate gnome bombing or anything like that. The gnomes that sit peacfully in their yards and don't suspiciously disappear or cause trouble are fine just the way they are. They don't need any special protection, nor should they be subject to any unnecesary bondage. But the bad seeds will always be there to ruin it for the apparently ethical garden gnome. How do you propose we impliment some sort of restrictive legislation that only affects the "bad" gnomes? Seems like an impossibility to me. Anyways, like I said, even the best gnomes are only "good" because they don't 'cause trouble. They don't actually make any positive contribution to our culture and society, they just fall short of dragging us futher down.
     
  23. Concudan

    Concudan Caffeinated Commando

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    Chupacabra; Goat abusing extraterrestrial, or misunderstood mutant mongrel?

    That is the topic for today’s episode of 'WTF is this Clown Talking About?'. I am your host Concudan, now let us meet our panel of experts:

    He is a goat activist who believes that the legend of the Chupacabra is just a red herring invented by those who ritualistically abuse goats. He feels that it is a sickness akin to Cow Tipping Syndrome, and need to be thrust into the national media in order to get the proper funding and attention. In A Days.

    He believes that the only good Chupacabra is a dead Chupacabrah. He believes that his long lost little brother was sold to the French Chupacabra society ChupBLA (Chupacabra boy love association) by rogue Garden Gnomes. He further believes that his brother is held in somewhere in the south of France or possibly in the Pyrenees Mountains and being used in ritualistic sex acts by the ‘horrid little buggers’, the Chupacabrah. BoltfanUK.

    He is a small game hunter who is world famous in Atlanta. He has bagged many small critters most of whom end up in his stew pot. His famous mouse skin sandals makes this ferocious hunter stand out in a crowd. He has organized the ‘Chupacabra huntfest ‘07’ in association with BoltDieHard, Shamrock, and the S.H.I.T organization. They plan on bagging multiple Chupacabras and selling the meat to the highest bidder on EBAY. The last ‘Chupacabra huntfest ‘06’ was of course marred by allegation that the Chupacabra in question was actually a shaved coyote shot on Shamrock’s farm, but the carcass disappeared before Fish and Game authorities could investigate. SDC.

    She is a Chupacabra rights activist who believes that the string of turkey, cat and goat attacks are the work of angry juvenile ‘Chupas’ who escape the labor camps in Puerto Rico, Texas, Mexico and Idaho. Camps where this expert claims young Chupacara are forced into slave labor, doing menial tasks from making rum, planting potatoes, sewing Kathy Ireland brand sheets, and taking coins at toll gates. She feels that the plight of the Chupacabra must be told, and tried in the court of public opinion, or a Chupacabra uprising is eminent. Carrie.

    He believes that the atrocities blamed on the Chupacabra is nothing more than the work of the Taco Bell Chiwawa. He believes that the Taco Bell mascot is disgruntled over recent commercials that do not include him or his catch phrase ‘Yo ciero taco bell’. He feels that until local law enforcement starts to investigate the Chiwawa gang of the greate LA area, the ‘Nippers’, there will be no end to the attrocities heaped on small animals and blamed on the friendly, misunderstood Chupacabra. leisure.

    Producers Note: Thumper has just informed me that during his last fact finding mission on the ‘Nippers’ and the Chupacabra, that leisure has gone missing. It is rumored that he got tied up, while attempting to measure the ‘sucking power’ of a full grown female Chumpacabra. We all pray for his safety. If you are out there leisure, god speed good man...

    Commentary:
    The legend of ‘cipi chupacabra’ began approximately in 1987, when Puerto Rican newspapers El Vocero and El Nuevo Dia began reporting the killings of many different types of animals, such as birds, horses, and, as its name implies, goats. However, it is predated by El Vampiro de Moca (The Vampire of Moca), a creature blamed for similar killings that occurred in the small town of Moca in the 1970s. While at first it was suspected that the killings were done randomly by some members of a Satanic cult, eventually these killings spread around the island, and many farms reported loss of animal life. The killings had one pattern in common: each of the animals had their bodies bled dry through a series of small circular incisions. Puerto Rican comedian and entrepreneur Silverio Pérez is credited with coining the term "Chupacabras" soon after the first incidents were reported in the press.[1] Soon after the animal deaths in Puerto Rico, other animal deaths were reported in other countries, such as the Dominican Republic, Argentina, Bolivia, Chile, Colombia, Honduras, El Salvador, Panama, Peru, Brazil, the United States and Mexico.

    Both in Puerto Rico and Mexico, the Chupacabra gained urban legend status. Chupacabra stories began to be released several times in English and Spanish language newscasts across the United States.

    Today many see the rise of Chupacabra merchandise, such as T-shirts, baseball caps, and even candy, as people ghoulishly profiting from the violent acts of aggression against goats everywhere. .

    In July 2004, a rancher near San Antonio, killed a hairless dog-like creature, which was attacking his livestock. This creature is now known as the Elmendorf Creature. In Coleman, Texas, a farmer named Reggie Lagow caught an animal in a trap he set up after the deaths of a number of his chickens and turkeys. The supposed animal was described as a mix between a hairless dog, a rat and a kangaroo. The animal was provided to Texas Parks and Wildlife in order to determine what species it belonged to, but Lagow reported in a September 17th, 2006, phone interview with John Adolfi, founder of the Lost World Museum, that the "critter was caught on a Tuesday and thrown out in Thursday's trash."

    It is said that such disregard for Chupacabra rights, and life as well as a blatant disregard for scientific process have lead to the impasse between multiple organizations and philosophical mindsets today.

    Lets open the floor for discussion.
    Chupacabra? Want to know more? Click here:
     
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  24. BoltsFanUK

    BoltsFanUK Well-Known Member

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    The Chupacabra deserve to die for what they might be doing to my brother..these are sick creatures that are only good dead..i propose that we should kill evry last one of them and save people like my brother from these vile digusting creatures..


    KILL THE CHUPACABRA:yes: :yes:
     
  25. Electric Chair

    Electric Chair New Member

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    There was a sighting on a fishing website I post on....

    "There is some freaky **** out there. My friends visited me in Costa Rica and I took them to this place called Cabo Mata Palo which is directly across the bay from Pavones.. Off road for about 2 1/2 hours right through the jungle 4x4 is a must. Wild Macaw parrots, 3 types of monkey's, Sloths, ect. Very wild and pristine with 3 perfect right points all within walking distance. The set up looks like this, Lower Trestles, Cardiff Reef, Swamis and its almost empty with parrots flying from tree to tree while you ar sitting in the line up looking at the coast. Iam not ******** you. Anyways we are camping out and I wake up in the middle of the night to a very angry beast. There is this much larger then a Howler Monkey animal in a Coconut tree going crazy. He was throwing **** at us yes ****, pissing on our tent, throwing branches. Just freaking out on us. My friend and I were sleeping on the dirt because it was hot in the tent. My friend rolled over and played dead. I freaked out and ripped a hole in the tent and jumped in. It was the Chupacabra for sure. He almost got us. But once he saw what a *****'s we are he decided to have mercy on us and he vanished in thin air."
     
  26. Thread_Killer

    Thread_Killer Well-Known Member

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    Here is the only known picture of the mysterious Chupacabra:

    [​IMG]

    Doesn't look too dangerous to me. I'll bet Shawne Merrimam "pre-steriods suspension" could take him down. :yes:
     
  27. in_a_days

    in_a_days dgaf

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    I seem to recall an old episode of the X-Files...
     
  28. BoltsFanUK

    BoltsFanUK Well-Known Member

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    :yes: :yes:
     

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